quiet

I have lost friends and family to heart failures and cancers, but never to suicide. This particular friend, Kelly, was more of a friend of friend, someone whose phone number I used to have but lost after high school. I spent plenty of time with him back in the day, but it was my close friends who shared late nights with him as we got older. I know his voluptuous laugh had spread beyond his friends to so many of those he was mentoring, evangelizing, learning from, and sharing with. My heart breaks for his parents, his brother and sister, his fellow seminary students, his friends, and for all the people who will never understand what he was going through.

I slowly lost touch with Kelly in college and after. He prodded my faith and beliefs in a bar one winter break while we were home for Christmas, and I shrugged it off, wondering when he had done a religious about-face. I wish I had heard him out, not because I needed evangelizing but because he was gracious enough to spend his time on me. How many other people do I know that care about the fate of my soul?  

Losing him has stirred a melancholic mental tornado rather than tears. As a Christian, hearing about the death of a seminary student who had started his own evangelistic network makes you revisit the dark places that are just easier to tune out in church. I know that some of his peers are fearing for his soul, but there is only one thing that I'm certain of in all this, and it's that no God I know could possibly turn away Kelly, regardless of what took him to such a desperate place...there's no better time for His mercy. I don't envy the pastor at tomorrow's service who is expected to answer impossible questions and quiet the bleeding hearts of so many confused and angry people, but I'm more than ready for the reminders of peace, joy, and unyielding grace. 

abracadabra

This post is just to acknowledge my disappearing act from the blogosphere. So much is going on, including but not limited to my renewed interest in the G1 phone, the first holiday at my house, my dad's estate sale, planning a ski trip, more dodgeball, less school, the approach of fantasy football playoffs and the utterly embarrassing demise of my team. I hope to be back in the saddle early next week! Happy Turkey Day! 

blind leading the blind

Megan McAdams' Guide to Life, Part I

(on money)

Leitch: I really want to buy a house, just not right now.

Peters: Yeah, I'm not sure if I can afford it anymore. Megan, aren't you still looking at buying over there? 

McAdams: Well I was, but now that they're not letting people who can't afford houses to buy them, I can't. 

(on dreams)

Megan: hey do you know what dreams where your teeth fall out mean? don't you have a dream book? you should know that

me: well i used to...when I was 12.
me: you should probably focus on no longer saying words with Ts and Ss now that you don't have any teeth. 

ironically, "teeth" requires a set of teeth to be accurately pronounced. chew on that.
Megan: hahaha
actually i still have my teeth
my intern lost his in his sleep
and i told him it meant something but i couldnt remember what
me: well, is he annoying? If so, you should tell him it means he is subconsciously worried that he talks too much.
Megan: no, i like him
i did tell him it meant he was going to die though.

(on football) 

Posted on Fantasy Football Message Board

AUSTIN, TX -- #11 McAssKicker finally pulls one through to defeat #1 Doak Dominates in what has been called the biggest upset in fantasy football in years. A representative from McAssKicker says the team can't wait to see how far the win will cause them to jump in the rankings - maybe even to #10. "It's a Cinderella story," the rep said. "We are thrilled about the remote possibility of not sucking ass."

buckle your seatbelts

I never thought I'd say this, but on this monumental Election Day, I woke up feeling like a little kid on Christmas morning! Which I hope is an indication that the Lord Savior Obama himself is here to save our nation. Now don't go letting that right wing flutter you up into a frenzy...I'm just acknowledging that today I'm more hopeful and scared for the future of our country than I've ever, ever been. Living and breathing the financial Titanic at work has given me this constant tourette-tick feeling that our generation doesn't have any idea of the gravity of what's happening around us (myself included). I certainly hope I'm wrong. But I feel like today could very well be the day that we look back when we're old fogies and remember that that day — the one where it hit 80 degrees in November, where we watched the results come in at our favorite bar, where we spent most of the night trying failing to get Peters to take birthday shots, and where we let the Sticks N Stones set the literal tone for the chaos, anxiety, and release — that day set a series of events into motion that inevitably changed everything. 

happy skankoween

"Sexy Ninja"

Halloween is quickly becoming my favorite holiday, but alongside being carefree and debaucherous, I feel increasing pressure as I get older to make my costume something not-slutty. I admit, my costumes aren't particularly clever or anything (this year it's Roger Rabbit, complete with buckteeth that are going to give a nice spin to karaokeing on the party bus). But at least I'm not just closing my eyes and pinning the tail on the nearest profession and deeming it sexy. I know the "I hate skanky bitches on Halloween" diatribe is old, but this year I'm much more interested in Spirit Halloween's recent evolution of shamelessness. 

Spirit sets up shop once a year here around town, and I don't really know how far their tentacles stretch and whether you've seen them or not, but usually they have the typical onslaught of overpriced costumes. This year, however, they left pretenses at the door and re-titled one wall of clothes the Sexy Costume section. I'll refrain from judging the kind of people who see that sign and breathe a sigh of relief ... instead let's just focus on what's in stock for all the busty young ladies of Austin this year. 

LB's Top 5 Skankalicious Costumes

5. Sexy VIP Red Carpet Valet

When did parking your car become hott? 

4. Sexy Beer Girl

Wait, haven't I already seen this idea somewhere? Oh right, the Flying Saucer, yearround. 

3. Naughty Miss Claus

Nothing wrong with getting a two-for-one holiday combo! Scarring children since 2008.

2. Sexy Ninja

Warning: May salivate over nunchucks.

And the number one skankalicious outfit of the year award goes to......

1. Sexy Border Babe!

That's right, we're talking border patrol, people. Nothing turns on a Texan faster than a big-breasted lady trying to keep the Mexicans out!

Happy Skankoween!

in the name of love

So one of the most redeeming parts about having to sift through the items left behind by my dad and grandparents is that, occasionally, I find a little nugget of nostalgia so sweet it makes my heart drip into a little puddle right there on the floor. 

A few weeks ago, on my Grandaddy's birthday, I was going through some bookshelves and wedged in between a Tom Swift series I found "Our Wedding Book," which chronicled my grandparent's wedding in 1941. From what I can gather based on all the clippings, notes, telegrams, etc, it looks like my grandparents met during his final semester of college; got engaged in the middle of May; formally announced the engagement on the 24th; had three separate showers that week; and married on June 2 (the same day that he graduated college). In the back of the book was this letter, sent from my grandfather on May 21, 1941 to his parents. Even though you have never met him, I still thought you'd enjoy his depiction of life and love in the 40s....

Tuesday Night-

Tired but Happy

Dearest Folks-

Received your swell letter. Gee, what a fellow & gal you two turned out to be. Kay was with me 

when I got your letter & she just loves you both. 

You can start bragging, Mom, 'cause I passed my exam with flying colors. But how could I fail with Kay waiting right outside with her fingers crossed. But your encouragement helped a lot too. The profs said it was fine. It lasted 1 hour and 45 minutes & I bet I perspired a gallow. Ha ha.

Kay is soooo sweet. She is so understanding and encouraging. She gave me a little pep talk before I went in. You know, everyone (proffesors & all) are just crazy about Kay. We have the whole Business School buzzing & beaming. 

Guess what? Today about 11:00 o'clock Mr. Ron Dyer of Houston Humble Office phoned me long distance and told me he had me a good job - that he had been working on it for some time. Then I had to tell him about the army & he said that was too bad. He said he was coming up to Baylor tomorrow to see me & several sermons & then we'd talk it over. Dad, it just

makes me sick. The things I've wanted all my life being ruined by the army. I won't mind the army - it's just what it takes me away from. But maybe something will happen - I hope. I haven't heard from Hughes Tool Co. yet. But oh if I could work for the Humble & stay out of the army, everything would be absolutely perfect. 

Kay & I are going to get married regardless of whether I go to the army or not. She has to go to Baylor two terms more anyway. You see, her Dad is the Baylor contractor, building all these buildings. She gets all her tuition, fees, etc. paid. It doesn't cost her dad anything.

So she could finish school & get her degree, army or no army. She doesn't want to wait & neither do I -- so guess it won't be long. We are waiting for everything to be settled about the army & everything. Her dad was teasing her this morning about getting her an ole beat-up Ford car as a wedding gift & she suggested he give us a honeymoon trip to Galveston for a week. He said that sounded O.K. to him. Isn't that a sight? He's so swell. We all thought your letter was grand. We are all well & happy. Well, I owe about $8 dollars counting everything. If you could please send me ten I could make it I believe. Kay is so sweet, we won't have to spend much till school is out. 

I am going to bring Kay home with me for a week or so right after school is out if everything works out. She needs a vacation, she's been going to school continuously for nearly 3 years -- summers & all. And then I want you to get to know her & her to know you. 

We have more fun. Today as Kay got up to give a talk in Dr. Carroll's class, four of my fraternity brothers began humming "Here Comes the Bride." It embarrassed Kay so much, she blushed & sat back down. Everyone had a good laugh, & (confidentially, as she said) she really got a thrill out of it. But it was embarrassing. Everyone congratulates us, everywhere we go. O Boy - it's grand. 

Well, I must close this & go to bed. I'm really tired tonight. Tired but oh so happy. 

Be sweet, & start bragging. Can hardly wait to see you & tell you everything. Tell Erma & Bill & everyone -- Edna -- all -- I'm sooooooo happy!

Will get my birth certificate & everything. Bye. 

Love (ain't it grand)

Graves

My grandfather did end up getting drafted for the war and spent the first few years of their marriage in the Navy. When he returned, he ended up working for Humble like he hoped after all. They were married for 57 years until Grandmama passed away. 

Although I can usually think of about 2,376 things I'd rather be doing than going through my dad's house, things like this make it worthwhile. 

say bye bye, tyra

America's Next Top Model has lost that special, guilty place in my heart.

What in the name of baby Jesus has happened to this show? The marathons used to nurse me through all-day hangovers, but last night I realized that Season 357 is finally suffering from the cinematic sequel syndrome...just don't bother. Unless it's Batman, Lethal Weapon, or Beverly Hills Cop*, it's going to suck and make me wish I'd spend that $8.50 for my ticket on an ice pick to drive through my skull.

*Obligatory exceptions so Brian doesn't disown me.

I'd stumbled upon a short clip criticizing this season's premiere episode of ANTM, but the clip was from an equally horrific show—apparently Topanga has needled her way onto the Style network (really? is this a step up from Nutrisystem ads?), thus making "The Dish" one drop shy of Chinese water torture. But, I have to give her credit for giving me fair warning about Tyra's fall from grace....any season premiere that starts out with an overplayed futuristic Tyra-is-a-robot-get-it?-ha-ha scene is on its way to being blackballed by...well...me.

The episode was packed with cliches, pathetic metaphors, and melodramatic deliveries from the judges and Miss Thang herself. Tyra has also lost total control of her vocabulary, and now prefers to speak in incoherent jive. Her critique of one model's picture: "You look like you sayin', 'I'm about to toot my booty up!'" There are no words.

While I mourn the loss of the one role model I had left now that Paris is finding a new BFF, can someone please try to figure out how I'm going to find another show that makes me feel as ugly and fat as this one did?