see you never, 2008

Despite the fact that 2008 was The Year of the Cockroach according to my personal Chinese calendar, I have to admit it has been the most exceptional year of my entire life, in the true sense of the word. I'm fascinated at the sheer volume of firsts that I've had, the number of skins I've shed, and the consistency of friends who have seen me through it all. 

For the first time I: 

played disc golf • drove a 4-wheeler • enrolled in a new graduate school • didn't throw up from drinking • threw up from vertigo • went geocaching • managed a building project • started a blog • made another amazing red-headed friend • built a flowerbed • went to California, Wisconsin, Illinois, Tennessee, Louisiana, Florida, and Mexico • bought a house • put up a Christmas tree • went to a sex toy party • kicked a referee in the head with a ball...oops • emptied someone else's house • lost money in the stock market • played sudoku • voted a black man into presidency • painted a faux finish • dreamt about a tornado in Memphis as a tornado was hitting Memphis • got a bike • went fishing • planned a funeral • checked my e-mail from my phone • rode a trolley car • had my dress fly up to my waist in front of a thousand people • saw Back to the Future I and II  • kayaked under a full moon • photographed 3 cemetaries • understood tithing • karaoked on a bus with a rabbit nose on • ate mussels and scallops • negotiated a loan • played on a volleyball, dodgeball, wiffleball, kickball, sloshball, and soccer team • gave a toast • got a therapist • presented to a college class • saw a student from that class a week later while drinking from a penis straw • paid off a credit card • used reusable bags • wrote letters that wouldn't be sent • creatively invested money • went to a female strip club • broke a lease • saw 7 plays • mowed a lawn

Phew.

2008, I'm going to usher you up-on-outta-here straight from the dance floor.

 

I say Google, you say "shut up"

Step. Step. Now on top of Google soapbox.

I heart Google as much as I heart my Mac and my cat and having queso twice a week. I met a woman recently who asked me how I stayed organized (not that I'm more organized than the average schizophrenic), and I rattled on about calendar/docs/e-mail/blogs/finance, and how the biggest technological conundrum I was having was whether to be an early adopter of the G1 or just sell my soul to AT&T and get the iPhone. That being said, the new Google video chat has blown my mind. I know that webcams are nothing new, but being able to sit at my desk and see/talk to Brian in realtime during his rehearsal on the northside of Chicago — for free — is rocking my world. 

Check your computer for a built-in camera. And then download this app. Here's a screenshot of a recent chat, just so you can see the clarity. For free. Doesn't my desk area look very important? It smells of rich mahogany.

Granted, I'm borderline obsessed with this entire line of software, but come on...it's pretty amazing that a program like this is free now, and only 10 years ago I was using a cell phone the size of a walkie talkie. By the time we're 35, what will we be using? My money's on being able to just take our fingers and draw the shape of a square in the air and have a screen appear...the new laptop, if you will. And I think you will. 

p.s. Update: the G1 is now in my pretty paws and I don't intend to let it go, come Hell, highwater, or a winning lotto ticket. If you want, I'll even show you the apps...my God, the apps...

oh tannenbaum

I have to say, I'm looking forward to the holidays much much more than I thought I would be. I foresaw it being a winter of discontent filled with bitter reminders that this year is not like all the others. In a Where's Waldo book, I thought this Christmas would be the wrinkly bald Waldo with a Winston in one hand and an electrolarynx in the other. But things are looking up kids, and here's why:

• I put up Christmas decorations like a big girl. It took a bottle of wine and a Saturday night, but I did it dammit! Here's a sampling, since you're curious.

• The girls are having our second annual gift exchange at my house and, clearly, gifts + friends + wine/eggnog/champagne = mucho merriment-o. 

• My bosses agreed to sponsor a family as part of our charitable giving this year, so I get to hit up Target with someone else's credit card. And it's for a good cause. Am I dreaming?

• I'm spending the holiday in Florida with my loverboy and his family...and I love the beach with the passion of a five-year-old in a moonbounce. Or of Brian when he wins the Heisman...in an Xbox game. 

• And last but most importantly: my Mariah Carey Christmas album has been located! Albeit after a weeklong rampage that may or may not have included tears.

So all in all, the next few weeks are shaping up to be quite nice. It's certainly not hurting that I've listened to this song about six times already. Happy Dreideling!

quiet

I have lost friends and family to heart failures and cancers, but never to suicide. This particular friend, Kelly, was more of a friend of friend, someone whose phone number I used to have but lost after high school. I spent plenty of time with him back in the day, but it was my close friends who shared late nights with him as we got older. I know his voluptuous laugh had spread beyond his friends to so many of those he was mentoring, evangelizing, learning from, and sharing with. My heart breaks for his parents, his brother and sister, his fellow seminary students, his friends, and for all the people who will never understand what he was going through.

I slowly lost touch with Kelly in college and after. He prodded my faith and beliefs in a bar one winter break while we were home for Christmas, and I shrugged it off, wondering when he had done a religious about-face. I wish I had heard him out, not because I needed evangelizing but because he was gracious enough to spend his time on me. How many other people do I know that care about the fate of my soul?  

Losing him has stirred a melancholic mental tornado rather than tears. As a Christian, hearing about the death of a seminary student who had started his own evangelistic network makes you revisit the dark places that are just easier to tune out in church. I know that some of his peers are fearing for his soul, but there is only one thing that I'm certain of in all this, and it's that no God I know could possibly turn away Kelly, regardless of what took him to such a desperate place...there's no better time for His mercy. I don't envy the pastor at tomorrow's service who is expected to answer impossible questions and quiet the bleeding hearts of so many confused and angry people, but I'm more than ready for the reminders of peace, joy, and unyielding grace.