there are no words

There are many reasons to be excited about marrying into the DesGranges family, but topping the list is Brian's mom's notorious Christmas gift giving practices. Let me preface this by saying she is the sweetest, most well-intentioned woman on the planet. Not so sweet that she's meek or is a pushover, but just very kind and loving. That being said...I'm not sure what runs through her mind around Christmastime. She has given Brian a variety of eccentric gifts, including Twister Moves (a spin-off on Twister) when Brian was already out of college and well out of the children's-game-playing age range. Actually, she gave him Twister Moves two years in a row. Other notables include a Dance Dance Revolution knock-off (given in his 20s) and a gold chain/bracelet set. Last year I was expecting something really shocking but got a few cute things including a Widow's Mite, which was this little coin on a necklace that was supposedly the kind of coins used in Jesus' era. Authenticity aside, I didn't think it was a bad gift at all, until I found out Brian had received the same thing the year before, necklace and all. 

Needless to say, there are always some really good stories to come out of it, and it makes gift time on Christmas Day supercharged with anticipation. 

This year, we brought it upon ourselves. We instated a "homemade / re-gift" gift policy so that everyone could save some money. As you might expect, this resulted in a few photo calendars, framed pictures, etc. But, I bet you didn't expect this. 

Meet my stocking stuffer. 

The only question now is, where are we going to hang it?!

God bless your sweet sweet soul, Rai.

excuuuuuse you

So I did some freelance work for the January issue of a magazine here called Rare, and in the process I got to interview one of my favorite people in Austin, Fayruz, who is a partner at a nonprofit consulting firm. I talked to her when I first moved here about general career advice and the consulting industry in Austin, and I instantly loved her - she's full of all sorts of fascinating info.

During our interview, she got off on a tangent (this is when the best stuff comes out) and told me about how dairy farms are under pressure to reduce their carbon emissions. But, it's not due to general manufacturing plant issues. No - the real environmental sinners are the cows, sheep, etc. It turns out that 1/4 of the methane released into the atmosphere every year comes from them. 

FROM THEIR BELCHES.

Look it up, holmes.

Mrs. McCrary

This is definitely overdue, but I wanted to give a shout out to Jackie and Jonathan's fantastic wedding in Memphis a few weeks ago! I stepped off the plane and immediately smelled fried chicken, which was a major indicator that the weekend was going to be full of the fatty soulfulness that I so love about that place. Katie and I got to spend a little much-needed QT with Jackie on Thursday night and joined GARRRRRY and Co. for dinner, which was delicious. Amanda arrived later that night and it was the first time I'd seen her beautiful face since she moved! Will and Brad came by the next day and received about a hundred overdue hugs from me (and Brad got to be in a spoon sandwich with us later, but we won't go there). Great reunion all around! 

The rehearsal dinner was so fun and I loved hearing Jonathan's sweet words about Jackie. And they both looked super hot with their new P90X bods...much deserved. Usually guys (especially funny ones) are so reluctant to open up with serious-non-funny feelings, but he stepped up to the plate and brought most of us to tears! The day of the wedding was truly a joyous day...Jackie was literally the calmest bride I've ever seen. Having a better understanding of all of the million hours of planning that go into one little day, I have to say I was shocked at how chill she was. So refreshing! 

The wedding itself was beautiful and the reception was a blast. I allowed myself about 5 minutes of sitting time to eat and then, naturally, stayed on the dance floor for the rest of the night. Highlight of the night? Singing Bohemian Rhapsody in 2-part harmony with J&K and a random band member. Girls - people actually complimented me on our voices. Seriously? Then post-wedding we shared a bottle of Jack with Cousin Mike while waiting for the bus, then took it to Bar Dog, which is a much-needed addition to the Memphis bar scene. I spent a long time convincing Fred to be a hair stylist, meanwhile a requisite post-wedding-pre-hookup flirty monkey game was heating up between two unnamed wedding guests :) And at the end of the night, no one even vomited. SUCCESS!

Congrats to the McCrarys!!! 

colored waters

I feel like I'm always learning some little interesting tidbits about life from random people, so I'm going to try to post these tidbits. Maybe you won't think they're as interesting. But I'm so intrigued by people's life experiences that it seems a shame not to share. This is also why I should be the next Oprah, just saying. (I'm also going to try out this tagging thing. This general category will be "chitchat").

Tidbit from today:

There is a new guy upstairs whose office I have to walk through on the way to the kitchen. Awkward. Kind of makes it even more awkward to not say something, even if it's "Hi, sorry for barging into your doorless office. Oh and I'm going to make coffee so have fun smelling that all day." So anyway, today I learned that he had been in the Navy, which led to a series of questions about water. How fun am I to talk to. But, he said two interesting things. 1) There are photoluminescent waters out there that made the water glow in the wake of the ship, either electric green or electric blue. 2) The Black Sea is actually a really dark purple. 

Cool huh?

the wedding tornado

Oh hello there Bloggity Blog Blog. Fancy seeing you here in cyberspace...where I abandoned you. What can I say, there's been a lot going over at Wedding 2K10 headquarters lately. Oh and that whole school thing keeps getting in the way. But I'm taking a few minutes for you and only you, right here, let's go. Shall we start in October?

Since I knew I'd have Brian for two whole imprisoning-can't-get-out-it weeks, I did some major wedding scheduling for his trip. Meaning, meetings out the backhole. Flowers, officiant, DJ, cake, buses, save the date, videographer, bahhhh! And, while it's way fun and totally necessary to do while he's in town, holycrapit'salotofwork. 

Now, as you might guess, I have been pretty pumped about the majority of wedding planning so far, but man, I did not expect to enjoy the free food part so much! It makes sense: people want to serve you delicious food for free so you will pay them thousands of dollars down the road...but somehow I still feel like I'm getting a great deal...because I've been brainwashed. I didn't have incredibly high expectations because obviously I'd never been before, but holy crap was it awesome! From our first tasting, a little home-cookin' barbecue...nevermind that it was served on cafeteria plates:

6 meats and 7 sides? Don't mind if I do!

Then the next day, Brian's parents had lunch with us at another potential spot and switched to Mexican cuisine. Look how happy tastings make you!

Brian's papa

That round, we got to try every appetizer offered, all fajitas and enchiladas, 3 desserts, and 5 different alcoholic drinks. Would you like to guess my productivity level for the afternoon?

The next day we had another tasting with a custom menu and the appetizers were so cute I wanted to hug them! I won't post that picture because that would spoil the fun later, but suffice it to say, they were delicious and creative and I just hope we can afford them! We will probably have one more tasting with another caterer who we're hoping can do all the stuff we want. Let's be honest, our particularity and budget are a little bit demanding, so we're hoping this is the winner! 

In the meantime, we got out our Save the Dates, I picked out some bridesmaids dresses, and we're moving to the next chunk of the to-do list. And as of now, our crazy travelling-hippie-camp of a honeymoon is still on. We're hoping to rent a teardrop trailer soon to verify that we can, in fact, spend the majority of six weeks in one without developing claustrophobia. I think there's no turning back now, though, seeing as how I'm fantasizing daily about all the non-textbooks I'm going to read, which toys are going to make the cut (bikes + frisbee are musts), and all the crazyass car games I'm going to come up with to annoy Brian. That's what honeymoons are for, right?

my afternoon with juanita

It's the second and final day of Find Juanita a Home!

I spent the morning calling all sorts of shelters to see who could take the pup, but it turns out that most of them get their animals from the kill shelter downtown. I was determined to not take her there. 

Unfortunately, I found out that you can't just give a dog to an adoption agency without reporting it missing first (and letting 3 days pass) because otherwise the dog would legally (?) be considered stolen. Problem is, I couldn't file a report with the main shelter because it's Veteran's day, so I had to take little Juanita there to the "receiving room" (a.k.a. death row) to let her kick it in a kennel for a few days while her delinquent owners finally pull their shit together and start looking for her. Brian was kind enough to remind me that all dogs go to Heaven. But I didn't know what else to do -- those stupid agencies get their dogs from the kill shelter, so it's like there's a way to circumvent the system. Ugh. So off we went...

Juanita's plea for a steak taco as her last meal. 

I was near tears taking her in (shocker) but it turns out, the kill shelter really was the right answer, because in fact she won't be killed. I asked to be called if she was going to get euthanized but apparently "everybody's" looking for small breeds right now, and she'll be properly fed and sheltered and spayed, and it's the best way to help her owners find her if they don't see our signs. I asked which adoption agency they work with and they said there are 70, so I feel like they'll be able to get her to a good place (justification justification justification). I asked if she'd go to Austin Pets Alive and they said definitely not because those are only the ones on the euthanasia list and she'd never get there. I guess the only ones that make the cut are the dogs/cats with behavioral problems, and Juanita's only problem is that she pees a little when she gets really excited. 

So anyway, I wish that she didn't have to spend this limbo period in a kennel with a million other animals, but if her owners don't care enough about her to go look for her or call it in, then the shelter can get her to some organization that can get her to a good home. Adios, Juanita!

my morning with juanita

This morning I woke up to a text from David (one of my bosses) asking if I could get him a smoothie and some construction paper. Slightly odd, considering we're a hedge fund. 

Turns out, a little bitty puppy wuppy followed David home from a walk this morning and wouldn't go away, so he asked me to make some flyers for the neighborhood. 

Then he told me where to go hang the flyers.

Meet my project for the morning: Juanita!

After calling some nearby vets, I learned that the only dog that's been reported Missing is missing an eyeball. Survey says that one's not getting picked up by a stranger.

So I made some cute flyers (it's important that they're cute, right?), drove to his neighborhood, taped them up everywhere, and then went and rescued the little lady from the box that they were keeping her in. FYI, it was a box about 3 feet high and it was tipping back and forth as she sumo-wrestled with herself inside, very reminiscent of the scene in Something About Mary with Puffy behind the bathroom door. And then I looked inside and saw this little tiny ball of cuteness!

Granted I HATE chihuahuas but I think this one might have a little min-pin in her or something, which is slightly redeeming. Also important to note that those ears actually flop over, which makes her look a little more like she's from planet Earth.  

Juanita and I chased some falling acorns for a while (yeah....) and then took what I'm assuming was her first car ride, weeeeeeeeee. We went to the vet to scan her for a microchip but apparently she's too young for one :( The vet told me to post flyers (check) and not put her picture on it (un-check) because people will randomly claim puppies and sell them to experiment labs!!! WTF people?! You better not sell Juanita or I'll cut your cajones off!

I gave David a list of questions to grill anyone who calls in response to the flyer so we make sure they're the real owners, things like "What are Juanita's favorite toys?" (Answer: Acorns) and "What is Juanita's real name?" (Answer: Juanita). 

And yes, I absolutely considered bringing her home but weighed the wrath of Powder and decided that the threat of a white menace dropping turds all over my carpet was too risky. In the meantime, Juanita is back in the box! 

the parentals

Several of you know that Brian and I had the great meeting of the parents this past weekend, but I haven't had a chance to tell anyone about it...so...to the blog!

We've met each other's respective parents a few times but realized there would be no reason for us all to be in the same place before the wedding, and we really didn't want that to be the first time they'd all met, so we orchestrated a little meet-and-greet in ATX this past weekend. Brian's parents drove in from Florida and stayed for about 5 days and my mom popped down from Fort Worth for part of the weekend. Everyone played nicely, as expected, and the ladies seemed to get along quite well! 

The three main topics of the weekend were:

1) Guns

2) Food

3) Family relationships that need some explaining

Anticipating this dialogue exactly, Brian and I had a hard time figuring out what kind of activities we should plan. Unlike us, they are usually an "indoor only" kind of crew, but we were trying to avoid watching movies or other things that don't encourage conversation. We 86-ed playing poker (which we'd been doing with his parents already) because Brian pointed out that going for blood might not be the best way to get everyone to buddy-up. Doing a puzzle was out because these aren't our grandparents. Having a drink on the porch doesn't fly when none of the parentals drink. So, we went to the only place that we knew they'd all be happy:

Please note that Monday is Ladies Day. 

All the adults have their carrying licenses, so we brought 6 guns for 5 people (I hear you can never be too safe) and everyone seemed pretty excited about teaching me how to shoot, as I was the only one who had never fired a weapon. Well that's not true, there was that corn I killed, but otherwise, no real weapons. 

So apparently there's this weird thing that cops' kids do. They live around guns their whole life and then grow up and watch Bowling for Columbine and decide that guns are what's wrong with America and the next thing you know, they're crying in a firing range. That's right. Crying. In the firing range. Honestly, I almost wish I'd just peed in my pants or something. Because there's less dignity but more spine involved in that. 

So here's what happened. I wanted to watch my mom shoot first so I'd know what to expect, and then I nearly died when she fired the gun. I'd never really processed the whole "ammo works because there's an explosion involved" dealio, so the bright flash and the sound (along with twenty other people firing in their lines) just about made me stop breathing. I was like a Mexican jumping bean in there, ricocheting off of everyone else's shots. Each one literally terrified me.

Somehow I'd managed to forget that I hate balloons simply because sometimes they pop and when they do I nearly have a heart attack, and also that I hate it when Brian hides to scare me because the anticipation kills me even if I know where he is, and oh yeah I hate Operation with a bloody fire because I scream every time my tiny scalpel makes the thing buzz. So trade out a 9 mm for a tiny scalpel and an explosion in a concrete bunker for a buzz and Oh Look, It's My Living Nightmare!

At first I tried to pull it together and just breathe and try to drown out the other shots but inevitably they just got louder and louder and I became more and more jumpy and the next thing you know, here come a few tears! (Only a few, for the record). I knew how badly Brian and especially my mom wanted me to learn to shoot. But as soon as the outward motivation changed from "It'll be fun!" to "Someday you may need to protect yourself if you're walking down a dark alley," I think the reality and definitiveness of GUNS KILL PEOPLE seeped back in and, knowing that's not something I ever want to do, I just got totally creeped out by the fact that any of these people could turn around and shoot me or accidentally misfire and shoot themselves (dents in the counters helped me with this theory) and then, more tears. Mucho embarrassment-o.

The good thing is, everyone else really enjoyed themselves. And Brian was a great shot, so I think we're covered in the defense department. It was a totally bizarre activity to choose for our parents but hey, some people bond over alcohol, some bond over deadly weapons. To each his own!

Mom, Brian, random dude, Brian's dad, Brian's mom. 

One big happy gun-wielding family!

early bird / late bird

So sadly, the Renaissance Fair did not pan out last weekend. Saturday was a little more rambunctious than expected, from J Black's Blackout breakfast/brunch, to the Most Amazing Bus Ride Ever, to tailgating, to scoring free tickets on the 24th row, back to J Black's to dominate the cork-room-turned-dance-room, then inevitably to Union Park to take the dancing up a notch. 

As you might suspect, Sunday morning came fast and hard. I had pre-purchased our tickets to thee ole fair so we spent about 30 minutes weighing the pros (fried food, midgets in costumes) and cons (rain, cold, removing ourselves from bed, wasting $26) before the gavel of Google maps brought our decision-making to an end: ye fair was three and a half ungodly hours away. And it closed at dusk. Which was in like 5 hours. So we agreed to try to not spend $26 all day in exchange for our laziness, and I spent the next three hours cursing ESPN for locking me out while attempting to pick up Miles Austin at 11:59 a.m. Oh, for the thirty-seventh time, did you hear he had the best game of his life?

I definitely learned a little lesson about pre-purchasing those tickets, which incidentally I did because it said there were limited quantities available at the discounted price (incidentally, there were not). I am a chronic planner and always think that the price will jump or someone else will buy whatever it is that I want if I do not buy it right at that minute. My neuroses has saved us a lot of money, especially when it comes to plane tickets and such, buuuuuut this weekend made me realize that perhaps there's some value in playing Brian's version of the Game of Life, which is to wait until the last minute to buy things for ultimate flexibility purposes. Because sometimes you get a lot of good deals that way too. Case in point, we wouldn't have wasted $26 this weekend. And, for the two UT games that we've gone to together, we didn't spend a dime because we didn't buy tickets in advance and instead just used tickets from people that were leaving the game around halftime (excellent plan, you must try it). That's at least $200 saved. 

Great free seats, no complaints. 

So, I decided maybe we should start keeping track of money we save/waste through our different tactics and see where things shake out. For all I know, maybe the early bird is getting screwed. (Note: that is an obligatory concession and I know it's not true, what? Game on.) 

get ye turkey leg

Here ye, here ye! To whom is the honour bestowed upon that she shall incur a multitude of merriment and festivals all in a weekend's time?

Translation: who's about to see her fiance, tailgate & hopefully sneak into the UT game, and go to a Renaissance festival this weekend?!

That's right. Me lady me-self.

I find it no small twist of irony that Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves will also be arriving in my mailbox today. This is destiny, people.

(There's something so, so right about this.)

behind the scenes

As I was uploading videos and pictures from this weekend at ACL, I ran across some videos from our girl's trip to Horseshoe Bay a few weekends ago. This is what happens when you put 9 girls in a lakehouse, give them a few cases of beer, and discover Michael Jackson's Number Ones in a drawer.

Me: We are a disaster.
Lundy: Such a sweet sweet disaster.

the brick exists!

I mentioned a while back that I'd bought my dad a brick to go along the Town Lake trail. Well, promptly afterwards, I lost all records of doing so and started to wonder if I'd actually ever successfully put in the order at all. So I emailed the foundation in charge of the bricks to confess my idiot self had no mental or electronic record of the order and wanted to make sure it actually existed. No response. 

So I finally convinced myself that I was going crazy and obviously hadn't ordered it at all. Maybe I'd gotten to the last page and never clicked "send," but regardless, there was nothing in my credit card statements or email confirming my little make-believe transaction had ever happened. For the last few weeks I've been meaning to (re)order another brick, because they only have so much space in this particular pavilion. It's not exactly cheap, so I had been dragging my feet. 

And once again, procrastination does me a favor. 

On Monday, an email appeared in my inbox with the subject "Your commemorative brick at Lou Neff Point." My brick! The brick that I had ordered! The brick that I had not at all made up and had totally purchased successfully like a normal functioning human being! I already had plans to go to the trail that afternoon so I took my phone to get some shots of it. It's in a perfect spot, right by the edge of the sidewalk where I like to think it will get more "face time." The pavilion is right behind it with an awesome view of kayakers and downtown! I couldn't be happier with it!

how many degrees??

It feels so fresh and so clean here in Austin, Texas; I even wore a JACKET yesterday! That's right folks, something with sleeves that's more than 1/4" thick. Weird. To other's it's a cold front, but to me it's signs of hope and joy and life beyond our volcanic summer. I even went on the trail at Town Lake the other day and didn't feel like I was inhaling rhinocerous breath...no, this was sweet sweet air! 

I've always thought summer was the best season, and I there's definitely a lot to love about lake days and CoPo nights, but I'm starting to think that fall is the best season change. It's like finding a toybox full of things I can't play with during the summer. I always forget how much I love jeans between March and September, and then I get a glorious reminder that I have 12 (count 'em) pairs just waiting to be worn or possibly let out and then worn. I forgot how much I love drinking wine on the front porch and when it stopped being 1,358 degrees last week, the turquoise bench saw its first fannies of the season, Carly and Stephen (two of my favorite & newly engaged friends). I also forgot how much I love concerts, which come back in full swing starting with Ingrid Michaelson's annual show at the Parish (I can't help it, I want to be her). Then there's ACL next weekend, and this year it won't be subtitled The Dust Bowl Days, it'll be Oh My God Zilker Park Got Sprinklers. And I'll have not one but two Keelys staying with me for the weekend! Who knew that was even possible? 

Come sit on me!

Another seasonal highlight that I used to not give two shits about but now feel is an integral part the fall: football. My fantasy football team is starting off the season in typical fine form. I usually don't start sliding off until critical weeks like 11 or 12, which gives me approximately 8 weeks to talk unnecessary amounts of shit. I get to go to my first UT game of the season tomorrow, where I'll continue my trend of tailgating too long and then accidentally getting into the game for free (the key is to get just less-drunk than someone near you so they decide to stay at the tailgate and unload their ticket on the nearest person...which happens to be me). 

I'm such an imposter. 

And the last gift Fall is giving me right now is new TV, not that I'm really committed to any particular shows, but whenever I do have time, there's always something new on and it's not total crap. I happened to catch Modern Family on Wednesday and holy jemima you have to watch this immediately. It'll be your best use of 21 minutes today. Go get 'em Tiger.

Recycling Fail

Right in my own parking lot!

a pinch of crazy + a lb. of unemployment

After all of our intense Excel-sheeting and timeshare-looking, the honeymoon is starting to take a slightly different shape from our initial interest in fleeing the country. Bubbling on the backburner has been an idea to do some extensive traveling right around our homeland, you know, the one with the red white and blue?

Since most likely, Brian and I will both be without jobs come next May, it's been hard to resist the urge to max out on our vacationing while vacation time comes without penalty! Thus, we're starting to wrap our minds around maybe more like a 2-month adventure around the U.S....likely, with the assistance of a teardrop trailer. If you've never seen one, they were really popular back in the 30s-50s and look like this: 

Essentially there's just enough room inside to crawl into bed, and then the kitchenette on the back houses a little stove, icebox, etc. Here's a diagram where you can see the inside and how everything manages to fit in such a small space. 

There's definitely not any room to spare, but it's the most cost-effective alternative that we've found that's a step above straight-up camping in a tent (which, let's be honest...do you think I could happily sleep in a tent for 8 weeks? Let's not talk crazy now). An RV would be great but they are gas guzzlers and cost a fortune, even to rent. The teardrop trailer is a nice little in-between that can be pulled by a sedan, can be re-sold after we're done with it, and would give us more protection than a tent but still save us from spending money on 60 nights in hotels. Because of its portability, you can essentially sleep anywhere you feel safe enough to do so - campgrounds, the side of the road, or even Wal-Mart parking lots (WM is super trailer friendly...another little factoid I've learned). There are obviously no showers, so you have to rely on campground showers, merciful friends, and a can of Psssst. 

Maybe a little crazy, but interesting, right?

A whole teardrop trailer sub-culture exists, which has been fascinating to see on websites and travel logs. And there are all sorts of accessories you can get too, like tents and dressing rooms, since you can't stand up in the trailer. 

Brian's uncle restores vintage cars and does all sorts of other mechanic/handywork that my feminine brain can't process, so we've enlisted him to start researching how much it would cost to have him build us our very own. Possibly painted to match the gold Honda. I'm just saying.

We'll see how the financial aspect of it pans out, but I've done a mock budget and I think we could get away with it for about the same price as 2 weeks in Costa Rica or somewhere equally awesome. So we'll see - there may or may not be a Google map already dedicated to potential routes. If we're going to be jobless and homeless and kidless - no better time to do something like this, right??

traffic skills 101

Sometimes I wonder if I subconsciously see this blog as a place to air my nerdiness. It's possible. That being said...

I took a 9-hour bike traffic skills class this past weekend. 

The first four hours were Friday night at REI, learning about bike mechanics, crash avoidance techniques, etc. Then from 8-1 on Saturday, we met near downtown for the on-bike portion of the class. Surprisingly, the whole thing was pretty awesome! I guess really the overall goal of the class was to become more confident riding on the road in traffic. We did lots of parking lot drills first, to practice stopping really fast without flipping your bike, turning really fast to avoid head-on collisions, maneuvering around crap in the road without falling, etc. The recurring theme was not dying.

Then we moved to a long ride through downtown, which was physically pretty undemanding but did a good job of testing out our confidence (frontage roads are a scary thing). We learned how to change our tires, took a written test, and called it a day.

Look, our instructor even took a "graduation" picture!

Looks like I need to get me a pair of those fancy pants the other girls have. 

I'm happy to say that as ridiculous as the whole endeavor was, I feel a LOT better about riding in traffic. This is a pretty major accomplishment since I swore off bikes after a bad accident when I was 12. Baby steps to the center lane, baby steps to the stop light, baby steps through the intersection. It will take a little more practice until I'm 100% confident, but I definitely think I'm moving in the right direction. After the class, the scariest thing about my ride home on MLK and Airport (2 very busy, unforgiving streets) were the people I passed. Hookers, anyone?

tiny taste of freedom

I had a great surprise on Wednesday. After an entire morning of enduring the typical stomach knot that I get every time class is in session, I checked my syllabus to see which campus my class was on that night (clearly I'm very prepared), only to find that class doesn't start until next week!

The ridiculous rush of freedom I got afterwards just highlighted what life is going to be like for me once school is done. I mean, if I was elated to not have to do homework for another six days, I cannot even imagine what it will be like to never have to do homework again ever ever. Grad school has become such a constant presence in my life (3.5 years now...) that sometimes I forget what it was like to never have that little nagging voice in the back of my head anytime I do anything fun because theoretically, instead of doing that, I should be studying. Such an inconvenient little reminder. 

For now though, I have another weekend of freedom, which is fantastic! I doubt it can beat last weekend in Memphis, which was deliciously full of nonstop catching up, but I don't know ... my 8-hour "bike traffic skills" class will be a pretty close second. 

memphrica

Come this afternoon I'll be touching down in the land of the Delta blues, Amen sista! I love returning to the 901 for so many reasons: 

- This always involves Katie and Jackie. Everything involving Katie and Jackie makes for good times. You do the math. 

- Bar. Be. Cue.

- Rosemary Lane! We may be sleeping in our new pad next door (J, like how I call it "ours"?) or maybe in the old homestead, not sure yet. So many great memories here. 

- Pitchers at Zinnie's...a beautiful thing.

- May or may not require sneaking into the Rhodes pool and then feeling really, really old. I like it.

- Seeing (and being scared by) a Piggly Wiggly.

- New/old Raiford's. I imagine the odds of us ending up here are poor to very poor, but that's nothing a couple of 40s can't conquer. 

- The Boonie! I feel super guilty for not being his mommy anymore (I'm sorry though...the cat couldn't ride 10 minutes to the vet without dijar-ing all over his box...how would he have made the 10 hour drive to Austin???), which I compensate for by spending most of my time snuggling with him and/or blow-drying him.

Yay for a great weekend ahead!

 

TT dub

Most of you know I've been somewhat obsessed with The Time Traveler's Wife and have been eagerly anticipating the movie for months now. My Austin friends haven't read the book and my Memphis friends have mostly, so I'm not really sure how to "review" it (so to speak), especially after considering other reviews online that address what it's like to watch the movie if you haven't read the book. 

So I'll just take it from my perspective (never fails, right?) and try not to spoil anything if you haven't read it: the movie was pretty different from what I expected, but I cried sufficiently enough that I walked out feeling like they'd done the book justice. I felt like they didn't flesh out the build-up of Henry & Clare's love enough before launching into their life together, but because I had the blueprint of the book in mind, I didn't feel totally jipped out of the chick-flick-iness that this part of the story could have afforded. Otherwise I thought they did a really good job of sifting out the most important elements of the book, which is nice to see in a translation that's as tricky as this one. 

I also thought they did a great job of conveying the whole sci-fi element of time traveling, although I did read that this was confusing for viewers who hadn't read the book. I've tried unsuccessfully describing it to non-readers who I think are now turned off by the confusion....but really, it's not that hard. So like, let's pretend I'm 26 right now (I am), and it's 2009 (it is). Let's say *poof* I time travel and find myself in 1988. I'm still my 26-year-old self, I just happen to be wandering around in 1988. In 1988 I would have been 5, so if I run into myself in the past, it's my 26-year-old self bumping into my 5-year-old self (who won't even know who I am). My 26-year-old self may suddenly realize that I remember this day - the day some weirdo older girl kept staring at me when I was little - but just couldn't make sense of it until now. In the same way that I appeared backwards in time, I could also time travel into the future. So maybe then I appear in 2015, and I can see myself as a 32-year-old. 

Somehow this just works. 

I guess the bottom line is if you haven't read it, read it, duh. And if you can't read, then fine, go see the movie and salivate over Eric Bana. His tiny mouth gets less annoying the more he takes his shirt off, I promise. 

colorada make you holla

You know what they say...a video's worth a bajillion words. 

sheep

I have tried to keep this blog a little bit on the DL for the past year and a half, but I'm warming up to the idea of knowing who's keeping tabs on me, so please boost my self-esteem and add yourself as a Follower (on the right side)! It's like the one time in life that it's acceptable to be a follower, so take advantage. Baaaaaaaa. 

neighborhood watch, part deux

The ensuing dialogue from our sniper poster is too good, I have to share. 

After My Favoritist Post Ever, a third party jumped in to chastise the guy for making assumptions:

WOW! Never occured to you old stick that the guy in the black jump suit might be one of the perps? Better just to think he was a "bad" person defending their home. Probably clingin to a gun and bible while doing it. 

But, sure enough, Crazy posted back and confirmed that he was, in fact, the dude in the jumpsuit. But make no mistake about his flashlight. 

For your information, That was not a Plus 2 Maglite, whatever that is. I have the MAGLITE ST3D016 3-D Cell LED Flashlight, used by law enforcement officers throughout the country.

Then later...

I'm headed out to the garage. I'll let everyone know how things go tonight.

I'll be honest, it's to the point that I check the blog several times a day to see if Crazy has any updates. Now the neighbors are jumping in with suggestions, too. One guy said that since the burglaries are occurring in the afternoon, maybe he should stake out at 3 p.m. instead of 3 a.m. and disguise himself as a piece of wilting grass. Then another guy said he just noticed that someone stole his IRA, so he'd be sitting by his computer waiting for the next theft to occur. 

Excellent.

neighborhood watch

So Mueller has this blog of sorts, really more like a site where you can post and respond to forums on different topics. It's got its fair share of serial-posters and I-just-like-to-see-myself-post posters, but in general it's a pretty interesting little conglomerate of neighborhood input. 

There are a lot of event awareness posts, mostly things requiring exclamation marks: 

"Movie Night!" 

"Splash Night!" 

"****4th of July Parade****It's On!"

Then there are the standard advisory posts:

"Don't forget to send your tax appraisals in"

"Watch out, there was poop in the pool yesterday" 

And then there are the theft posts - car break-ins, garage break-ins, etc. It's a good way to keep the community actively looking out for suspicious activity. It's also a good way to flip people's crazy switch. 

The thread on thefts had been dormant for about three weeks when I posted that my bike had been stolen out of my garage. 

Backstory: I accidentally left the garage door open and when I went back 24 hours later to get in my car, I realized the door was open, immediately looked over at the space where my bike used to be, and then started on a manhunt around the adjacent neighborhood, looking for someone anyone riding around on my bike. I'm not sure what I'd planned to do when I found them, but it was going to be rough.

Anyway, so being the good neighbor that I am, I posted about it so people would be reminded to shut their garage doors, especially since the exact same thing had happened to my friends next door. This woke the Beasts of the Blog, and in the last 2 weeks since then there have been 24 posts. First, people were simply noting the importance of making police reports, the usefulness of automatic garage door closers, etc. 

Then enter user C. Frimire. Here's the logo on his profile, just to let you know what we're working with. 

C. Frimire, who has never been burglarized in Mueller, decides to host a stake-out. 

Hi. 

Last night I left my garage door open and waited til 3am for someone to try and rob me. No luck last night, but I'll keep trying, and when I do catch one of these guys just stepping into my garage I'm going to make damn sure he learns how we all feel about thieves stealing our stuff. Hopefully he'll go back and tell all the others that it's no longer worth it. I'll keep you posted.

I'll be honest, his gameplan sounds about as solid as me driving around looking for the hoodlum who stole my bike. I mean what's the guy going to do, give the thief a stern talking to? Preach on the socioeconomic underpinnings of theft? Club him over the head with a weed wacker?

But Justice is patient.... 

Another eventless evening last night. But it's just a matter of time. 

And today, a response post from another user. 

Look dude, if that was you I saw crouching in the black jumpsuit the other night while I was looking for my mom's cat, you need to cut that craziness out. You scared me half to death. And I don't know what you think you're going to do with that +2 Mag Light, but you're officially out of your mind. 

Neighborhood Watch at its best!

what $40 will buy you

Last Sunday, Brian and I were on the way to church when we realized we were egregiously late. We were deciding how futile it would be to drive half an hour for half a sermon when we saw a sign for an estate sale. 

6 hours and 4 more sales later, we had accumulated this: 

Counterclockwise from the top: Some rummy game, an early 1900s cigarette pack holder, wooden salt&pepper shakers, a weird card game with no directions, a brooch, a bat, a 99 Beers on the Wall puzzle, White Teeth by Zadie Smith, an old Ritz cracker tin, an Emmy Lou Harris record, 2 classical records, and a DVD of ESPN Scene-It.

Not pictured: a workbench, a set of metal shelves, and 2 mini cooler bags.

Pretty random in all, but there are a few interesting things about our finds. 

1) Everything here besides the bat and the brooch were between 25-50 cents. CENTS. 

2) I have a matching Saltines cracker tin. This may mark the beginning of an unfortunately useless collection of metalware.

3) The bat turned out to be a stellar find, a rare left-handed original Louisville Slugger from somewhere around 1916-1920.

4) That cigarette holder thingie is now officially a candy holder. I blame its inherent addictive properties for my unbelievable Snickers intake. 

5) After a coat of paint, the workbench and the shelves look ah-mazing in the garage, and we've already used the cooler bags twice. Which equates to approximately 6 cents per bag, per use. Beat that, sucka!

We tried to go to a few more sales this past weekend but only found crap on top of piles crap. A crap sundae, if you will. But hey, you win some you lose some.

the race is on

Sometimes I wonder if my life is so busy because that's just how it is or because that's how I've orchestrated it to be. I literally have 10 e-stickies on my desktop with different to-do lists on them. I have 4 Excel documents that I have to regularly update so I can keep track of my major transactions, records of events, notes on things I need to take care of, research I've done, etc. My Gmail has 45 different labels. Even my Google calendar has to be separated into 7 different colors just so I can keep tabs on everything. IS THIS NORMAL?

Truthfully, most of my life chaos is not worth complaining about. I'm fortunate enough to have a house, which is why I have to F- with tax appraisal protests and maintenance issues. I'm fortunate enough to be able to go to school, which is why I have to juggle assignments, classes, projects, and tuition. I'm incredibly fortunate to be getting married, which is why I have files full of contracts and 2 powerpoints just to organize the photos I've saved. 

So like, I'm not really complaining. Just sharing the overwhelm-ment of my desktop.

Life's current chaos is as follows: while I'm wrapping up my final projects for the semester, we've started demolition on the laundry room at my dad's house, which is the only major work that we will do now that we decided to put the house on the market. Yay! Don the Realtor is starting with an informal soft-sell and then will list it on MLS, so I'll keep the blog updated if we get any bites. To get to that point, though, means lots of cleaning, yardwork, and appointments with people from pest control, energy audit, A/C service, etc. Brian came back in town (to the rescue) to help juggle the to-do list for this and next week. Everything will come to a blissful, screeching halt next Thursday when I turn in my final paper and we fly to Colorado for a long weekend. E-stickies and e-mail and e-chaos will be temporarily shut down....fantastico! 

to whom it may concern

Dear Person Who Never Replaces the Toilet Paper at Work,

I hate you.

XOXO

LB

honeymoon hunting

Since I blew off the morning and spent the whole time researching honeymoons, I promised myself I'd study after lunch. But here I am. Full, and blogging about honeymooning. 

Brian and I have started gathering our thoughts on potential spots, and let me tell you people something - the world is a very big place. I guess this is traditionally a little too early to be planning that part of Marriage Extravaganza 2K10, but we're really hoping to use some "credit" through a timeshare program that B's parents are a part of, and those places book up ridiculously early, sooooooooo here we are. July and planning 11 months out. 

Costa Rican pool

Really all we have to do now is settle on a spot so we can reserve our lodging, and then we'll work on the rest of it at a more appropriate time, say next spring. But trying to pick a spot is way more overwhelming than I thought it would be! I've found myself spending a lot of time judging pools, when really I want to find a part of the world that's crazycool outside the resort walls. We've really only been able to weed out one place, which is New Zealand, because we want to go in our winter when it's their summer. Otherwise, the rest of our choices are all over the globe right now. Which makes for a menacing Excel sheet. 

Finnish pool

So, five readers, do any of you have any comments on places you've been and loved? I really want to know where and why! Recommendations are so crucial, and I'm hoping maybe I could narrow my focus a little bit with some feedback. I think our trip will span a couple of weeks and hopefully will include lots of disparity - adventure, relaxation, hostels, resorts, whatever. So really the metric is just caliber of amazement and enjoyment. Ok, now go post something helpful :)

God's pool, as seen in the Dominican Republic 

life lately

Life has been rolling right along these past few weeks, so sorry for not blogging but here's what's been keeping me busy:

+ As some of you know, our wedding planner quit! Not because we sucked, fortunately, but because her godsister decided to get married the same day as us. This caused a good solid 24-hour panic for me (I know, dumb), but I met with someone new that fortunately we can actually afford (as most of the experienced planners are a fortune), and it turns out her company works closely with our photographers as well, so now everybody's happy :) Oh, and speaking of our photographers, they are awesome and officially booked as well! They have been so flexible with our budget and our ideas, which are very specific but a little different from what they normally have done. They are open-minded and creative, which is exactly what we want!

+ Classes...still cramping my social life...The good news is, I'm learning a lot about the law. The bad news is, some of my classmates are still idiots. Cest la vie.

+ We opened up a new fund at work, and we're opening another next month! Really this mostly affects really really ridiculously good looking rich people, but it is an exciting chapter for the business and my bosses have been working really hard and deserve to reap some benefits! Consequently, they've been in a great mood, allowing me to pull crap like this: 

Boss 1: Hey, would you mind creating a new folder for this?

Me*: Aaaand cut. Let's do another take, but this time you don't want me to do anything for you. Aaaaand ACTION.

+ Trying to hire contractors for a few/ton of fixes on my Dad's house, including but not limited to a water leak and subsequent mold destruction, bringing the water heater up to code, removing and replacing the stove, laying tile in kitchen and bathrooms, new toilets, and new carpet. Let me tell you how fun this is......oh wait, it's not. We've got it narrowed down to the A-Team (who costs twice as much) and the B-Team, who is keeping plumber's crack alive and well. This has involved a lot of researching, appointments, price checking, etc. Interesting learning experience but I'm definitely ready to get someone hired and get the work done! Not sure if renting or selling will come after that, but I am meeting with my realtor this week to discuss.  

+ Chicago for the Fourth of July. We had a really great weekend , despite that one little glitch where I threw up 15 times after a night of beer die on an empty stomach. (So what if I'm 26?) Beyond that, Brian and I spent some time checking out different neighborhoods so I could get a feel for them...you know...if I moved...or something...sometime. I am so grossly in love with the city right now that I think you could put me in a cardboard box and I'd be happy. Until winter, when I would die. We trekked through Lincoln Square, Roscoe Village, Wicker Park, and Lakeview, and next time will look into more! In the meantime, I've signed up for an 8-hour bicycle safety/maintenance class (shut it) so I can work on not getting killed in traffic, which will be nice to practice here over the next year before I hit the streets of Chicago.

*By me, I mean me as Jim Gaffigan, but if you actually thought I could be that funny, then I love you.

cyber-mom

My mother--who cannot text, can barely attach a photograph in an e-mail, and does not understand the concept of "folders" on your computer--has just joined Facebook. And Twitter. AND WE'RE FRIENDS. 

Is there no sacred ground anymore?

I'm sure some of y'all's parents are already online, but literally my mom doesn't even truly understand what Facebook is. She's only on it because her website person told her she should get on it to promote her new book. I mean, her page is one big oxymoron. She somehow has managed to find 121 friends (WTF?) but she goes back and forth between normal statuses and misplaced wall posts: "Hi Gipper, how are Nancy and Shane? Ree called my mother a week or so ago. She was thrilled." 

I started to explore my new cybermom and looked at her website for the first time in forever to see if she's been updating about her books. In the "Meet Laurie" section there's a little paragraph about her family, so to speak. It includes the cats' names, but not mine. 

I will admit, though...I am starting to enjoy her Twittiness. Right now she has up: "This may be Sunday but it's a work day for me. Off to see patients in the psychiatric ward. It's times like this that I know I'm blessed."

We'll see how our new Internet relationship pans out. She still doesn't know about this blog, and I plan on keeping it a secret until I'm waterboarded.

one...more...day

Why is it that right when a really fun weekend is on the horizon, your to-do list is suddenly overwhelmed with totally obnoxious tasks? As if life tries to offset the caliber of fun you are about to have with an equally hemorrhoidic experience until then. Due to this rule of Life Suckage, Jackie's bachelorette party is being preceeded this week by things like: finding out a water leak has caused much more major structural damage than previously known; going to the gynecologist; having an emotional breakdown; and having to read out the ass for class. Like, so much reading out the ass that I periodically wander around my house (while reading) to change the scenery because I'm that sick of it. As if each new spot I find is a little prize that I get for making it through a few more pages. Because my life is that lame. Which leads to awkward moments where I come out of my read-walking and realize I'm sitting on the edge of my bathtub...or standing in the backyard. 

I guess this annoying crap makes the light at the end of the tunnel even brighter, but you know my priorities are all screwed up when I actually look forward to cleaning out the trunk of my car because it means I can avoid reading that much longer. (Incidentally, God rest the soul of the two-year old granola bar I found under a pair of mesh pantyhose). 

BUT I will say, when 5:00 tomorrow hits and I'm only 2 hours away from Katie's arrival and less than a day away from Jackie's arrival, I am closing those books until Sunday night and thoroughly enjoying every second of the glorious reunion / shitshow that is about to occur! 

a good ole Texas workday

I'm not sure if I've ever fully explained the deal with my job, aside from referencing how awesome it is. Half of it takes place in the office, typical doldrums of helping my bosses stay organized. That's all fine and well - I have a great view of trees and free range on the Internet, so I can't complain. The other part of my job is to manage one boss' family's vacation home, which is on a river about 45 minutes away. It's an incredible piece of property, lots of open ranch-land, huge trees, deer, cows, turkeys, four-wheelers, swimming holes, cliffs, etc., and that's not even touching on the house (and the new addition we just spent the last year building). 

My boss and I go out at least once a month to work on various projects, and sometimes we get distracted. Like a few weeks ago, when I realized someone in the family had put out glue traps to catch field mice in the garage. 

I don't know how much you know about glue traps, but if you've ever put one down, we can no longer be friends. I found the cutest tiniest deadest mouse in one, and while I was standing over him wondering how long it took him to starve to death, I leaned closer and realized his tiny body was hiccuping in an effort to breathe. And then I immediately started crying. Because I am made of fairy dust. 

A rodent control guy was actually at the house then, so I told him he needed to kill the mouse to put it out of its misery. He seemed totally miffed at how to do that (is this not your job?!) and asked if we had a hammer. Disgusting. I went to my boss and told him he had to do something. The poor mouse was dying. IT WAS DYING AND WE WERE WATCHING. 

And that's the day I learned how to shoot a gun.

I'd never fired an actual for-reals gun before, which is shocking considering both my parents were cops. I don't believe Americans should even have the right to carry concealed weapons, so I don't have too much interest in really learning how to use them. Buuuuuut since we had to shoot the mouse anyway....

R.I.P. Mr. Jingles

My mom periodically has to do some kind of testing at the shooting range to renew her handgun license, and she's a perfect shot. Like, perfect beats all the men perfect. So I've kind of wondered about my own skills, especially since I've been blessed with good vision. My boss and I set up some corncobs for targets on the hillside for the lesson. 

For your viewing pleasure, I circled the corn in red. 

The Shot

The Verdict: 

I can kill any ear of corn that tries to come within 100 feet of me.

I'm happy—and a little weirded out—to say this is my greatest personal victory in the last six months or so. And I'm pretty sure my mom got choked up at the good news, which guarantees that she'll be giving me a gun rack for Christmas. Hooray!

no good deed...

Usually I ignore the panhandlers at a light near my house because I had a bad experience with one who ended up yelling at me because I wouldn't give him money. Today I decided to break my standard "fake a phone call to avoid eye contact" routine, and instead give a homeless guy a sack lunch. 

He asked if I was pregnant. FML.

since you were dying to know

I realized that I tend to post a lot of plans or stories, but I rarely post any updates, so this is a big ole followup to everything since starting this blog!

Being green. Strangely, when I moved to a new-urban-community-in-the-making, I actually stopped riding my bike. I loved riding it to bars, brunch, and work, and I'm not near any of those things now! Eventually, Mueller (my 'hood) will be set up with all of these things and the Marin will be back in action, but right now, the tires are flat. Sad day. Also on being green: I have to admit, I was really good about using the reusable bags for a while, but now I'm not even sure where they are. I still try to not take bags from the store, though, if I can just carry my stuff out. I did make my office start recycling, and I (for the most part) stopped using plastic water bottles, and we recycle most of our stuff at home. Oh, and my house itself is a 3-star green building (out of 5)...does that count for anything?

Brushing my shoulders off. I've been much better about adapting to life when it doesn't go as planned. Which is 99% of the time. I will give all the credit to my go-with-the-flow fiance, and I have to admit, life is more interesting when you are challenged to make good out of bad. 

My Dad's birthday present. This year I ordered an engraved brick that will be placed in a path on the trail at Town Lake, which was one of his favorite places to ride bikes, walk, and kayak. He actually loved kayaking so much that he even bought one. Since I have been going there with him my whole life, I thought it would be great to make sure a piece of him stays there forever. 

The motorcycle. Although we don't ride it all the time, the old Shadow is still around and is doing great. It has caused a fair amount of tension lately because my mom wanted me to promise to never ride it again, which I didn't do. Although I really do hardly ever 

ride it, little does she know...

...I learned how to drive it!

P90X. We are six weeks in and still going, although right now we're in the middle of a two-week hiatus! We are starting to see some results—although we're still not following the diet portion of the program—and the workouts are definitely still making us sore because the order of the videos keeps changing. It's getting harder and harder to stay on track, though, due to vacations and awkward schedules. It doesn't help that the videos themselves are getting more boring to follow (but easier to do while watching TV at the same time...interesting plus). I definitely have not lost weight but can tell my body is toning up, and overall I am much stronger than I was before starting! Brian is definitely losing some fat and replacing it with muscle, so again no weight loss persay but general strengthening and toning. We are going to get the nutrition guide from a friend and then hopefully go balls to the wall for the last six weeks. 

Girl's Trip 2K8. Was followed by Girl's Trip 2K9 to San Diego last weekend, a.k.a. National Championships 2009, a.k.a. that time we started dance-offs, had matching Bubba kegs, drew finger mustaches, and generally acted like an idiot pack of 12 girls (heretofore referred to as Hurricane Bubba Nation). It was awesome.

Peer evaluations. Oh boy did this go downhill! The woman who mouthed off in the first e-mail then decided to write an e-mail starting "Dear Laura" but with the whole group copied on it, so something was obviously up. Sure enough, she point blank said that the other group members told her they'd given her 100s, so why did I not, and what did I think she did wrong since I was obviously uncomfortable talking to her about it during the semester (yeah right, as if she was after constructive criticism). So then I had to launch back a "cease fire" to the whole group to get them to stop harassing me. Ultimately the e-mail defended myself and the intended confidentiality of the peer evals, explained why I didn't give perfect evals, included some math demonstrating how I knew the others were lying about what they gave out, told them I didn't want to continue the conversation, and said I was sorry the semester ended on a bad note. She wrote back and apologized in that "I'm only fake apologizing" kind of way. However, the man-child in the group was not so smooth, and instead decided to rattle off a hateful e-mail saying all the things I imagined he thought: that I was bossy, full of bullshit, and manipulative. Although Brian and I came up with about 15 really great patronizing responses, I decided the best idea was to contact my teacher. I have to say, I wrote and re-wrote that big e-mail to the group for about two hours, and I cannot express to you how glad I am that I did this because my teacher and the dean and assistant dean ended up reading the entire string of e-mails and I would've been mortified if I'd been bitchy or petty. The whole thing ended with me having to e-mail him back (at the insistence of the dean) and state to never contact me again by phone, e-mail, or in person or I would involve the dean's office. Pretty weird end to a shitty semester with these people. So I bet you can imagine how excited I was to walk into my new class last night and see Little Miss Mouthy sitting there.  

And now onto my final, more positive update!

Watching more movies. This is my biggest feat. After those 5 movies that I watched in the first week of 2009, I have watched 27 more. Like, 27 brand new movies...that's not counting repeats. That's roughly 3 times the total number of movies I'd seen in my whole life. So that you can enjoy (or avoid) them too: 

Most obscure that I liked: Grace of My Heart, My Blue Heaven, King of Kong

Biggest letdowns: Forgetting Sarah Marshall, 27 Dresses

Best action: Lord of War, The Last Boy Scout

Hottest: 3:10 to Yummy Yuma.

Worst: Wedding Daze. 

Best movie I should've seen of but hadn't: Rushmore

Biggest thinker: Bowling for Columbine 

Robert Downey Jr.'s best performances: Two Girls and a Guy, Tropic Thunder

Biggest cries: Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, Blood Diamond, Diving Bell and the Butterfly

There is so much crap on TV these days (what, am I like 80?) that I've actually taken to preferring to watch a movie instead of flipping through the channels for 2 hours. Netflix has been such a great enabler too. Next up on the cue, a variety pack: Sabrina, Willow, Sicko, and The Hours!