The Dungeon, Part II

The second interview came and went yesterday, and I lived to tell about it!

I think all my anxiety and over-preparation panned out in my favor this time, because I handled these questions (this time from five people) with more confidence than last go around. Deb was my final interrogator, so I was about to pee myself warmed up by the time I entered the lair. In fact, the two women I met with just before Deb asked me questions that they explicitly said Deb would be very interested in during our interview. The fact that they were straight-up prepping me for my duel showed me that they liked me...and that Deb truly is one scary m-f-er.

I took a different approach to our second encounter. Instead of being eager to please and easily intimidated, I just blew off her side comments and kept talking until she seemed to agree with something I was saying. And I even made her laugh. Who knew! She asked me what were the two biggest things I'd bring to the position, and I said that I would say "a fresh perspective" but since she would think that was a canned answer, I'd pick something else. I also told her that I'd spent a lot of time trying to figure out if her questions about their print magazines were actually trick questions. Oh, and I even said that I was trying to figure out whether the print mags existed because somebody upstairs liked them or because they served a real purpose. Gargoyle laughter abounds!

I guess being a candid, critical biatch was the way to Deb's heart? Who knows. At the end I asked her what she thought my biggest challenge would be, and she said she thought the job was thismuch too big for me. I said fair enough. Then she said that she thought I could do it. I said thanks, I did too. We became best friends. Then I left.

So who the F knows. They're considering one other person and expect to have an answer to me within the week. I still have really mixed feelings about the job - I would be totally fine if they didn't offer it to me and would have a tough decision on my hands if they did. Regardless, I'm really glad that I went back and looked fear in the face (no seriously), because I was insanely intimidated by that woman and really needed to prove to myself that I wouldn't let someone I didn't even know squash me to snot. So I did. And I'm not snot. Yay!

The Dungeon, Part I

Well, I'm happy to say that I finally got an interview for a job!

Unfortunately, it manifested itself as the most humiliating, condescending, and fruitless three hours I've ever spent trying to sell myself to a company.

Where to begin...2 weeks ago, I applied for a job on Monday, and got an email on Tuesday asking me to interview for 3 hours on Wednesday. Because of the quick turn-around time and the lengthy process ahead, I felt confident walking in. Unfortunately, I didn't have much time to prepare for the interview (just the one afternoon), but I did what I could. The position is for a Managing Editor for a trade association (let's leave the actual name out, shall we), so I made sure to have a handle on the publications I was to be in charge of, as well as reviewing a few basic underpinnings of the trade.

Enter, Wednesday morning. First I meet with the HR woman, who is a gem. She seems impressed. I feel good. One down, three to go.

Then, she takes me to Deb, who doesn't even look up when I enter the room, nor does she shake my hand. All good signs of what's to come.

I would categorize the next 45 minutes in the dungeon with Deb as the complete and methodical destruction of my self-esteem. She interrupted the majority of my answers with the comment "Everybody says/knows that...what else?" Other popular responses included:

"That directly conflicts what you just said."
"Everyone says strategic, what exactly are you talking about?"
"We don't hire people so they can learn, we want to know what you can bring to the company."
"I'm concerned about the fact that you seem to believe the industry is doing exactly the opposite of what it's doing."

(That humdinger came after she asked me what my strategy would be for making their print publications more relevant, and when I gave her an answer, she said she was shocked that I would try to drive people to print instead of to the web. Okay Deb, sorry, I didn't realize it was an option for you to ask trick questions.)

Finally, once all hope for me getting the job had been completely decimated, she asked what I knew about marketing. Oh you know, that little ole INDUSTRY. I'm not sure how to answer a question like that. I mean, what do you know about history? What about science?

So I just put the nail in the coffin by saying that I could tell her about Product, Placement, Price, and Promotion, and she naturally responded with: "Everyone knows about the 4 Ps, what else?"

End scene.

After the annihilation of my soul, I still had to meet with two other women. Both were so kind, and one told me that Deb tears everyone to shreds, but seeing as how Deb would be my direct manager and only on-staff colleague, it really didn't make me feel any better. I spent the afternoon shell-shocked and had a good healthy cry that night because I couldn't stand the thought of having to work with someone like that every day, and I hoped they didn't offer me the position because I didn't want to have to turn down a perfectly well-paying job out of principle.

But life wouldn't be as easy if we never had to make choices, would it? So, on Monday morning, I'll be going back into the firey pit with Deb and three other woman for a second grueling three-hour round of interviews. I have no idea why they called me back or what she could possibly have left to ask me, so I assume she'll spend the time munching on the leftovers of my emotional carcass. And no self-respecting unemployed person can turn that down!

you win some, you lose some

Brian and I thought it would be appropriate to make a pit-stop in the Fort during our travels to Austin for Engagement Party Weekend, so we pitched it to my mom as an early Thanksgiving (2 birds 1 stone, bitches). Our three days in the Metroplex were noteworthy, as is becoming typical now that JTF is in the picture.

Let me go ahead and say that this is one of the nicest men I have ever met. He is very dedicated to my mom and, by default, is committed to building a relationship with myself and Brian. For a future stepfather, these are really great qualities. Moving on...

So, JTF invited Brian, my mom, and I over to his place to watch some of their weekly TV shows. B and I had never seen his house, so this was the first time we'd gotten a glimpse of JTF's Life, versus JTF in My Mom's Life. Seeing as how he's trying to become a part of the family, I imagine this was an important moment for him. So we arrive, take our coats off, and linger awkwardly around the couch waiting to see who will sit where. JTF flips on the TV.

I tilt my head to the side...what is exactly is that on the screen? Oh, it's a girl. Aaaaaaaand a penis. It's a girl and a penis. SHIZAM! Fortunately, JTF manages to hit the input button and send that girl and that penis into the confines of blackness. Unfortunately, only a few seconds later JTF hits the input button again and, hooray, they're back! Only now there's another girl in the scene, and she and her boobs are looking to parrrrrty. For the next 11 seconds, JTF misplaces his opposable thumbs and cannot figure out even so much as one. button. to press to make it go away.

And what are we doing this whole time? Well, my mom is laughing so hysterically that she's capsized on the couch. Brian is exhibiting the greatest restraint of all time, mixed with bursts of snarfed laughter. And I am experiencing a real, live heart attack but still manage to say the only words that anyone can squeak out during this excruciating cinematic screening: AT LEAST MUTE IT.

This episode has inspired me to create a new level of Texcellence, appropriately categorized as TeXXXas.

That night after Dave & Buster's (you heard me!), JTF invited us in to watch some more TV. He promised there would be no porn on. Brian said in that case, he might as well go home.

Gotta love it. Now please go re-read the second paragraph :)

travel season is over

Things are good, people, things are good. Those two recent trips were exactly what I needed to get back in the saddle with a positive outlook that a great job is on the horizon for me! Perhaps this has something to do with the fact that I slacked off on job hunting while out of town, so there were a ton of things to apply to when I got back, but WHATEVER. I'll take it!

So let's talk about Austin. A.maz.ing. I haven't been back in three long months, and driving into a warm, sunny city filled with breakfast tacos, queso, and impromptu dance parties was literally all I could have asked for. And I had Brian in tow for this trip, which made it extra fun as always (except when he was playing Angry Birds in the car for the entire drive while I was stuck behind the wheel what who said that). There was so much to love about our trip, starting with:

• Staying at Carly and Stephen's, our kindred spirit couple. Sorry for keeping y'all up both nights until after 3 a.m. but hey it was awesome, right? We are working on transporting them to Chicago via our new insert genius teletransporting method.
• Oh my God I cannot even start talking about the food. Austin is the shit, and everywhere else sucks. I'm looking at you Torchy's and Tiff's Treats.

• I have to say, the Austin girls really brought it this past weekend. Both of the engagement parties we went to were so great...I was on cloud nine being around all of my loves. But even better was the nightlife. The fact that I thought I had sprained both of my ankles from our Cork Room extravaganza is a very, very good thing.
• Town Lake! B and I had time to take a quick walk to see my Dad's brick and make sure, you know, the mortar hadn't moved or anything. Kayakers, ducks, kiddie trains, dogs, happiness.
  
  
  
• Having a full schedule. We made the most out of our trip, fo sho. Lunch with the bosses and their babies, brunch with AmySallyMegan, football at Pluckers where we learned about Justin's twight...twitter fight, and dinner with Jenilee's fam (thank you for not stealing back our chiminea).

• And finally, we loved spending our last night in the old 'hood with Ashley and Sean (and Emily and Megan!). Nothing like watching TV with our favorite narcoleptic. As a sidenote, I threw up in the middle of the night which is EXACTLY the same thing that happened on our last night in Austin in August! I don't want to make a mountain out of a molehill, but could this be a sign that I'm not supposed to leave?! Don't answer that.

On that note, I'm happy to report that as awesome as our weekend was, we were both so excited to get back and get in the swing of things at our own apartment, in our great city, with our pretty kitty...which is just what I was hoping for.

old lynx cats

I spent the past week or so in St. Louis visiting Brad and then carpooling to Memphis for the Lynx 5-year reunion, woo hoo! Seeing Brad in his full-time dorm life was great (minus that nasty all-night smoke alarm), and we had ample time to catch up in our 9 hours of driving. It's so refreshing to spend such a concentrated amount of one-on-one time with someone you don't get to do much more than Gchat with! I loved getting an in-depth snapshot of his life and am grateful to have another Southerner to bitch to about the impending Midwestern doom called Winter.

Then Memphis, as per usual, was a blast. It's good to know we haven't lost any spark in our "old age" and still are fine abusing open bars, conquering late night food, and sneaking alcohol past cops on Beale Street (do not look at me for this one name rhymes with Smackie). Facebook has certainly taken away a lot of the discoveries that you get to experience after not seeing someone for 5 years, so there wasn't too much catty commentary after our reunion events. Instead, the phrase "Okay, so I'm a stalker and I saw that you..." started off the majority of conversations. So weird, right?! I would say that social media would discourage us from participating from future reunions, but truthfully, we'll take any excuse we can get to share a cup from the Keurig, revive ourselves at Fino's, stay up until 3 a.m. talking, and then do it all over again the next day. Roll on, Lynx cats!