yee haw now folks

I went to Fort Worth recently for a high school friend's wedding, and I spent a lot of time soaking up state pride. Now, I love Texas, I do. It's such a strange place, how can you not love it? But I prefer to keep my Texanness tucked riiiiight in my back pocket where it belongs.

However. My mom and John-the-Fiance (JTF, for short) are both from South Texas and really like "working" the distinctive drawl, attitudes, and outlooks that spawn from down there. I'm not trying to be disrespectful, but to be honest...it can be a handful sometimes. When they're together, it's like a fine Texan reduction sauce is born...they let the left-wing burn right out while the accents thicken up and before you know it, you're dripping anti-Obama propoganda all over your entree. I like to call this level of pride, "Texcellence"...you know the one...the one that can't be questioned, challenged, or subordinated by any cretin "unlucky son of a bitch" non-Texan. No weekend at home is without a deluge of Texcellence.

5 Highlights of the Weekend

1. Texas TV: discussing how much Mom & JTF love the show Border Wars

2. Edible Texas: an array of wild boar, buffalo, filets, quail, elk, and my favorite, Oysters "Texafeller"

3. Bejeweled Texas: JTF's gold & diamond Texas-shaped man-necklace

4. Embroidered Texas: Tapestries with rodeo and hunting scenes hanging over our dinner table. Nothing makes me hungrier than seeing how my food made it to my plate.

And finally my personal favorite,

5. Concealed Texas: JTF's gun falling out of his holster onto the floor...at a restaurant.

Well sheeeeet, nuthin' says Texas like yur damn handgun fallin' out on the floor like yur some gang banger from Como.