excuuuuuse you

So I did some freelance work for the January issue of a magazine here called Rare, and in the process I got to interview one of my favorite people in Austin, Fayruz, who is a partner at a nonprofit consulting firm. I talked to her when I first moved here about general career advice and the consulting industry in Austin, and I instantly loved her - she's full of all sorts of fascinating info.

During our interview, she got off on a tangent (this is when the best stuff comes out) and told me about how dairy farms are under pressure to reduce their carbon emissions. But, it's not due to general manufacturing plant issues. No - the real environmental sinners are the cows, sheep, etc. It turns out that 1/4 of the methane released into the atmosphere every year comes from them. 

FROM THEIR BELCHES.

Look it up, holmes.

Mrs. McCrary

This is definitely overdue, but I wanted to give a shout out to Jackie and Jonathan's fantastic wedding in Memphis a few weeks ago! I stepped off the plane and immediately smelled fried chicken, which was a major indicator that the weekend was going to be full of the fatty soulfulness that I so love about that place. Katie and I got to spend a little much-needed QT with Jackie on Thursday night and joined GARRRRRY and Co. for dinner, which was delicious. Amanda arrived later that night and it was the first time I'd seen her beautiful face since she moved! Will and Brad came by the next day and received about a hundred overdue hugs from me (and Brad got to be in a spoon sandwich with us later, but we won't go there). Great reunion all around! 

The rehearsal dinner was so fun and I loved hearing Jonathan's sweet words about Jackie. And they both looked super hot with their new P90X bods...much deserved. Usually guys (especially funny ones) are so reluctant to open up with serious-non-funny feelings, but he stepped up to the plate and brought most of us to tears! The day of the wedding was truly a joyous day...Jackie was literally the calmest bride I've ever seen. Having a better understanding of all of the million hours of planning that go into one little day, I have to say I was shocked at how chill she was. So refreshing! 

The wedding itself was beautiful and the reception was a blast. I allowed myself about 5 minutes of sitting time to eat and then, naturally, stayed on the dance floor for the rest of the night. Highlight of the night? Singing Bohemian Rhapsody in 2-part harmony with J&K and a random band member. Girls - people actually complimented me on our voices. Seriously? Then post-wedding we shared a bottle of Jack with Cousin Mike while waiting for the bus, then took it to Bar Dog, which is a much-needed addition to the Memphis bar scene. I spent a long time convincing Fred to be a hair stylist, meanwhile a requisite post-wedding-pre-hookup flirty monkey game was heating up between two unnamed wedding guests :) And at the end of the night, no one even vomited. SUCCESS!

Congrats to the McCrarys!!! 

colored waters

I feel like I'm always learning some little interesting tidbits about life from random people, so I'm going to try to post these tidbits. Maybe you won't think they're as interesting. But I'm so intrigued by people's life experiences that it seems a shame not to share. This is also why I should be the next Oprah, just saying. (I'm also going to try out this tagging thing. This general category will be "chitchat").

Tidbit from today:

There is a new guy upstairs whose office I have to walk through on the way to the kitchen. Awkward. Kind of makes it even more awkward to not say something, even if it's "Hi, sorry for barging into your doorless office. Oh and I'm going to make coffee so have fun smelling that all day." So anyway, today I learned that he had been in the Navy, which led to a series of questions about water. How fun am I to talk to. But, he said two interesting things. 1) There are photoluminescent waters out there that made the water glow in the wake of the ship, either electric green or electric blue. 2) The Black Sea is actually a really dark purple. 

Cool huh?

the wedding tornado

Oh hello there Bloggity Blog Blog. Fancy seeing you here in cyberspace...where I abandoned you. What can I say, there's been a lot going over at Wedding 2K10 headquarters lately. Oh and that whole school thing keeps getting in the way. But I'm taking a few minutes for you and only you, right here, let's go. Shall we start in October?

Since I knew I'd have Brian for two whole imprisoning-can't-get-out-it weeks, I did some major wedding scheduling for his trip. Meaning, meetings out the backhole. Flowers, officiant, DJ, cake, buses, save the date, videographer, bahhhh! And, while it's way fun and totally necessary to do while he's in town, holycrapit'salotofwork. 

Now, as you might guess, I have been pretty pumped about the majority of wedding planning so far, but man, I did not expect to enjoy the free food part so much! It makes sense: people want to serve you delicious food for free so you will pay them thousands of dollars down the road...but somehow I still feel like I'm getting a great deal...because I've been brainwashed. I didn't have incredibly high expectations because obviously I'd never been before, but holy crap was it awesome! From our first tasting, a little home-cookin' barbecue...nevermind that it was served on cafeteria plates:

6 meats and 7 sides? Don't mind if I do!

Then the next day, Brian's parents had lunch with us at another potential spot and switched to Mexican cuisine. Look how happy tastings make you!

Brian's papa

That round, we got to try every appetizer offered, all fajitas and enchiladas, 3 desserts, and 5 different alcoholic drinks. Would you like to guess my productivity level for the afternoon?

The next day we had another tasting with a custom menu and the appetizers were so cute I wanted to hug them! I won't post that picture because that would spoil the fun later, but suffice it to say, they were delicious and creative and I just hope we can afford them! We will probably have one more tasting with another caterer who we're hoping can do all the stuff we want. Let's be honest, our particularity and budget are a little bit demanding, so we're hoping this is the winner! 

In the meantime, we got out our Save the Dates, I picked out some bridesmaids dresses, and we're moving to the next chunk of the to-do list. And as of now, our crazy travelling-hippie-camp of a honeymoon is still on. We're hoping to rent a teardrop trailer soon to verify that we can, in fact, spend the majority of six weeks in one without developing claustrophobia. I think there's no turning back now, though, seeing as how I'm fantasizing daily about all the non-textbooks I'm going to read, which toys are going to make the cut (bikes + frisbee are musts), and all the crazyass car games I'm going to come up with to annoy Brian. That's what honeymoons are for, right?

my afternoon with juanita

It's the second and final day of Find Juanita a Home!

I spent the morning calling all sorts of shelters to see who could take the pup, but it turns out that most of them get their animals from the kill shelter downtown. I was determined to not take her there. 

Unfortunately, I found out that you can't just give a dog to an adoption agency without reporting it missing first (and letting 3 days pass) because otherwise the dog would legally (?) be considered stolen. Problem is, I couldn't file a report with the main shelter because it's Veteran's day, so I had to take little Juanita there to the "receiving room" (a.k.a. death row) to let her kick it in a kennel for a few days while her delinquent owners finally pull their shit together and start looking for her. Brian was kind enough to remind me that all dogs go to Heaven. But I didn't know what else to do -- those stupid agencies get their dogs from the kill shelter, so it's like there's a way to circumvent the system. Ugh. So off we went...

Juanita's plea for a steak taco as her last meal. 

I was near tears taking her in (shocker) but it turns out, the kill shelter really was the right answer, because in fact she won't be killed. I asked to be called if she was going to get euthanized but apparently "everybody's" looking for small breeds right now, and she'll be properly fed and sheltered and spayed, and it's the best way to help her owners find her if they don't see our signs. I asked which adoption agency they work with and they said there are 70, so I feel like they'll be able to get her to a good place (justification justification justification). I asked if she'd go to Austin Pets Alive and they said definitely not because those are only the ones on the euthanasia list and she'd never get there. I guess the only ones that make the cut are the dogs/cats with behavioral problems, and Juanita's only problem is that she pees a little when she gets really excited. 

So anyway, I wish that she didn't have to spend this limbo period in a kennel with a million other animals, but if her owners don't care enough about her to go look for her or call it in, then the shelter can get her to some organization that can get her to a good home. Adios, Juanita!

my morning with juanita

This morning I woke up to a text from David (one of my bosses) asking if I could get him a smoothie and some construction paper. Slightly odd, considering we're a hedge fund. 

Turns out, a little bitty puppy wuppy followed David home from a walk this morning and wouldn't go away, so he asked me to make some flyers for the neighborhood. 

Then he told me where to go hang the flyers.

Meet my project for the morning: Juanita!

After calling some nearby vets, I learned that the only dog that's been reported Missing is missing an eyeball. Survey says that one's not getting picked up by a stranger.

So I made some cute flyers (it's important that they're cute, right?), drove to his neighborhood, taped them up everywhere, and then went and rescued the little lady from the box that they were keeping her in. FYI, it was a box about 3 feet high and it was tipping back and forth as she sumo-wrestled with herself inside, very reminiscent of the scene in Something About Mary with Puffy behind the bathroom door. And then I looked inside and saw this little tiny ball of cuteness!

Granted I HATE chihuahuas but I think this one might have a little min-pin in her or something, which is slightly redeeming. Also important to note that those ears actually flop over, which makes her look a little more like she's from planet Earth.  

Juanita and I chased some falling acorns for a while (yeah....) and then took what I'm assuming was her first car ride, weeeeeeeeee. We went to the vet to scan her for a microchip but apparently she's too young for one :( The vet told me to post flyers (check) and not put her picture on it (un-check) because people will randomly claim puppies and sell them to experiment labs!!! WTF people?! You better not sell Juanita or I'll cut your cajones off!

I gave David a list of questions to grill anyone who calls in response to the flyer so we make sure they're the real owners, things like "What are Juanita's favorite toys?" (Answer: Acorns) and "What is Juanita's real name?" (Answer: Juanita). 

And yes, I absolutely considered bringing her home but weighed the wrath of Powder and decided that the threat of a white menace dropping turds all over my carpet was too risky. In the meantime, Juanita is back in the box! 

the parentals

Several of you know that Brian and I had the great meeting of the parents this past weekend, but I haven't had a chance to tell anyone about it...so...to the blog!

We've met each other's respective parents a few times but realized there would be no reason for us all to be in the same place before the wedding, and we really didn't want that to be the first time they'd all met, so we orchestrated a little meet-and-greet in ATX this past weekend. Brian's parents drove in from Florida and stayed for about 5 days and my mom popped down from Fort Worth for part of the weekend. Everyone played nicely, as expected, and the ladies seemed to get along quite well! 

The three main topics of the weekend were:

1) Guns

2) Food

3) Family relationships that need some explaining

Anticipating this dialogue exactly, Brian and I had a hard time figuring out what kind of activities we should plan. Unlike us, they are usually an "indoor only" kind of crew, but we were trying to avoid watching movies or other things that don't encourage conversation. We 86-ed playing poker (which we'd been doing with his parents already) because Brian pointed out that going for blood might not be the best way to get everyone to buddy-up. Doing a puzzle was out because these aren't our grandparents. Having a drink on the porch doesn't fly when none of the parentals drink. So, we went to the only place that we knew they'd all be happy:

Please note that Monday is Ladies Day. 

All the adults have their carrying licenses, so we brought 6 guns for 5 people (I hear you can never be too safe) and everyone seemed pretty excited about teaching me how to shoot, as I was the only one who had never fired a weapon. Well that's not true, there was that corn I killed, but otherwise, no real weapons. 

So apparently there's this weird thing that cops' kids do. They live around guns their whole life and then grow up and watch Bowling for Columbine and decide that guns are what's wrong with America and the next thing you know, they're crying in a firing range. That's right. Crying. In the firing range. Honestly, I almost wish I'd just peed in my pants or something. Because there's less dignity but more spine involved in that. 

So here's what happened. I wanted to watch my mom shoot first so I'd know what to expect, and then I nearly died when she fired the gun. I'd never really processed the whole "ammo works because there's an explosion involved" dealio, so the bright flash and the sound (along with twenty other people firing in their lines) just about made me stop breathing. I was like a Mexican jumping bean in there, ricocheting off of everyone else's shots. Each one literally terrified me.

Somehow I'd managed to forget that I hate balloons simply because sometimes they pop and when they do I nearly have a heart attack, and also that I hate it when Brian hides to scare me because the anticipation kills me even if I know where he is, and oh yeah I hate Operation with a bloody fire because I scream every time my tiny scalpel makes the thing buzz. So trade out a 9 mm for a tiny scalpel and an explosion in a concrete bunker for a buzz and Oh Look, It's My Living Nightmare!

At first I tried to pull it together and just breathe and try to drown out the other shots but inevitably they just got louder and louder and I became more and more jumpy and the next thing you know, here come a few tears! (Only a few, for the record). I knew how badly Brian and especially my mom wanted me to learn to shoot. But as soon as the outward motivation changed from "It'll be fun!" to "Someday you may need to protect yourself if you're walking down a dark alley," I think the reality and definitiveness of GUNS KILL PEOPLE seeped back in and, knowing that's not something I ever want to do, I just got totally creeped out by the fact that any of these people could turn around and shoot me or accidentally misfire and shoot themselves (dents in the counters helped me with this theory) and then, more tears. Mucho embarrassment-o.

The good thing is, everyone else really enjoyed themselves. And Brian was a great shot, so I think we're covered in the defense department. It was a totally bizarre activity to choose for our parents but hey, some people bond over alcohol, some bond over deadly weapons. To each his own!

Mom, Brian, random dude, Brian's dad, Brian's mom. 

One big happy gun-wielding family!