Dias Cinco y Seis

Thursday was productive in the morning because we (students) staged a small coup and organized ourselves outside of our professor's earshot. Then, we took a break from that whole hour of hard work and went on a midday cruise around the lake, cervezas on deck. Even though it was awesome to get some sun, personal dynamics were starting to flair and the passive aggressiveness between girls was palpable - arriba! We saw a black Christ in a church, had an enormous lunch that cost a whopping $5, and then I managed to slip in a quick siesta before dinner. Our client, Alejandro, had us all to his house, which was such an interesting place and had a fantastic view of the sun setting behind the mountains. His sweet mother Alma practiced her English by giving us a demonstration on how to make several kinds of salsa, and I got to taste the best green mole I've ever had in my life (the only green mole, to clarify, but still...).

Alejandro's adorable kitchen

Friday BIRTHDAY DAY started nice and late (10 a.m.!) with a few wrap-up meetings and then a quick trip to the artist's market, where I bought a handmade, handpainted chip & dip...a true sign that I am officially 27 years old. 

In the afternoon, we got to hear from some of the local nonprofits that will be our client's first clients, which was rather uplifting. It's nice to know that hopefully the work we do will ultimately help these people and their organizations. They are so grateful for anything...it reminded me how much I really do want to work in nonprofit consulting, if that's where my intended purpose is. It made for an intrinsically soothing birthday afternoon. We had a farewell dinner, during which I ate and drank for the first time without managing stomach cramps at the same time--success! After practicing some salsa dancing with our 60-year-old waiter, we headed back to the hotel for a "debriefing" that the Dean called, which turned into a birthday serenade from a 12-piece Mexican band that our hotel owners had hired!!! What a fantastic birthday surprise! Ringing in the big 2-7 with a local band while sipping tequila was definitely the way to go.

As many as I could capture in one shot!

A few of us ended up at a local discoteque/bar, which was fun until the owner of the bar tried to force us to go to his house and even tried to make our taxi leave us. Why do all good things in Mexico end with someone trying to rape you? Excuse me while I add that to the list of things I will never tell my mother. 

All in all, I guess the trip was a success. As a few of us got to know each other better in the week, the little excursions were a lot more fun, but we all were pretty sick of the food (hello, I just reversed 6 weeks of working out) and the claws in the group were starting to come out, so it ended just in time. We did feel like we could've done more work down there, but I won't even get into how frustrating THAT concept is. However, my roommate situation worked out well, and I recovered from the turista, and I got to work on my Spanish, and I had a few truly unforgettable experiences, so I guess that's what it's all about, right?

Dia Cuatro

Wednesday shaped up to be a wonderful day. First of all, I was feeling in great shape and had fully rebounded. Second of all, it was ADVENTURE DAY! Which meant no work whatsoever, and isn't that why we came down here? To screw around? 

A little known fact about Valle de Bravo (where we are) is that it is the spot where monarch butterflies spend the winter from November to March before beginning their migration back up through the U.S. and Canada. The next year, a different generation of butterflies return to this same spot in the mountains, even though they aren't guided by any older butterflies who already know the way. One of life's little mysteries. 

For our ADVENTURE DAY our whole group went up the mountain by taxi and then transferred to horses, which led us about 45 minutes further up the steep hill. Each of us had a Mexican guide (who spoke no English) walking with us to make sure our horse was tame, but I looked back and Fermin had left me ("mi corazon!") so Palomo the white stallion and I were on our own. As we moved higher up the mountain, the air got colder (we are already well over a mile high) and we started to see a few monarchs here and there. Nothing to write home about though. Finally they told us to stop talking, and we walked through a clearing and saw this:

The video is a little bumpy and sort of crappy in general but just focus on orange...wherever there's orange, there's one (or 50) monarchs.

For those of you that know about my thing with animals in multiples, I was a little worried at first that I would get grossed out by thousands of butterflies. However, I'm not sure how well the video conveys it, but this was by far one of the most amazing things I've seen in years. I actually even teared up (big surprise right?)...it was like we'd been transported to magical forest. I'd wager to say it was worth the entire effort that it took to get down here, to this city, to that mountain, to that clearing. Incredible!!!

Dia Tres

I fear this may be a rather dull post but in the spirit of tradition, I thought I might as well keep up the day-by-day play-by-play!

I'm feeling much better today, or was, rather, until dinnertime when my body began to rebel again. No big deal, just time to call it quits for the day. We spent the morning working in small groups on our business plan, thus we got a taste of the frustration that will ensue for the rest of the semester. I had a lovely afternoon shopping and enjoying adult beverages on the veranda. I'm getting to know a few of the girls better, although personalities are beginning to shine so it'll be interesting to see how the dynamics unfold this week. We took a stop by the farmacia looking for some of the prescriptions that you don't get in los estados unidos, but no such luck. Apparently we need to go somewhere much shadier and much further from the Catholic church.

Dia Dos

Hola, soy una turista con turista!

My blog from yesterday about all that crazy food is pretty funny now that I spent all night vomiting and dijarring! (It's okay, let's just get it all out there.) Circa 3:45 a.m., Montezuma began taking out his revenge on my stomach and continued doing so for the next 4 hours...which at one point, required me to shove one of my roommates away from the toilet so I could vom. Classy, I know. 

I'm not really sure what caused it...there are oh-so-many possibilities. Perhaps because every spice and ingredient here is totally foreign to my body and I ingested every last one of them yesterday? Or it could be the tap water (which I brushed my teeth with....because they said it was okay), or the ice cubes I had in my water glass. Oh or the grasshoppers. Or the rest of the foul food we had at dinner. The options are endless! I got up briefly at 11 and tried to join the group but was only there 5 minutes before I had to run out (out of fear of projectiling on our client); then I was so dizzy I had to crash at the bottom of the stairs where my professor found me all pathetic-like. Oh, the joys.

Montezuma, my new BFF

Our dean also got sick with the same thing at about the same time, so we were comparing notes on what we ate but came up with nothing solid. Another girl here has an extreme allergy to nuts and accidentally bit into something made with almonds, so she was also in bed all day (I'm talking, an allergy so bad that on the plane they had to request that no one even open a bag of nuts). So the three of us were down for the count, and it was an unfortunate day to feel terrible because we had a free afternoon and everyone went and explored the town and went paragliding too! Pssssh.

Everyone in our class has been super caring: a few went and got me food, others got medicine, and so on. I did feel pretty sorry for myself at the end of the day because I just wanted Brian to come bring me something (poor meeeeeeee) but now I'm just ready to crash and wake up and feel great. I finally ate a granola bar just now and my stomach doesn't feel like a mariachi band is practicing inside it, so I'm going to take a hot shower and get in bed for the night. Oh, and the hotel owner so kindly recommended a movie for me called Lust, Caution that I can watch in bed. Awkward. But it will make the time pass and manana will be a new dia. Some of the girls talked a masseuse into coming to the hotel tomorrow afternoon, which I am super excited about, because my back is killing me and in general my whole body is tense. So here's to a better day tomorrow!

P.S. Guess who will not be hearing about today's misadventure? Mi madre.

Dia Uno

I imagine trying to fill everyone in on my little trippy-poo to Mexico might be a little daunting so THANK YOU BLOGOSPHERE for making my life easier!

Day 1 in Valle de Bravo: success!

Notables from the day: 

• Cab to the airport was 30 minutes late. I showed a really nice side of myself to Yellow Cab Incorporated.
  
• Rest of the travels were smooth and I scored a window seat with no one next to me - excelente! I started Audrey Neffenegger's second book (after Time Traveler's Wife) and it's a page turner. Yep, I just said that. 
  
• After getting pulled over by the police in our van (yes), we got to our hotel and were greeted with fresh guacamole and margaritas! ARRIBA! I don't know what it is about Mexican guac but they know how to do it right....and in industrial-sized bowls, at that. 
  
• The town is situated at the bottom of a mountain, which made for a nauseous ride for most of the girls, but the trees are tall and beautiful - very Colorado-esque - and we're excited about our horseback ride up the mountain later this week. 
  
• I may have bitched to some of you about how I was assigned to a bedroom of 3 girls that was made for 2. I've been a little pissy and apprehensive about this, but when we arrived hey there were 3! One of our professors had lectured us about not being boisterous, obnoxious, etc., but I still ran out onto our balcony and yelled TRES CAMAS!!!! because I couldn't help myself. Hi, I'm American and locals hate me.
  
• We had a rather disgusting-o dinner that started with cucumbers/carrots marinated in jalapeno juice, which burned right through my esophagus, and then we moved onto appetizers of fried grasshoppers, ant eggs, and worms. Straight up, on the plate, with a chip and a side of guac. Our client (who's a native here) just scooped a bunch of all three up into a tortilla and gobbled it down. And I gagged. I did, for the record, try the grasshopper, but it ruined the rest of dinner....because it felt like we were on Fear Factor. 
  
• One of our professors brought a guitar, and I discovered a set of bongo drums, and Hotel California ensued. 
  
• I knew no one knew about my birthday being on Friday, which was fine (albeit a little sad to "enjoy" your self-absorbed day all by yourself!), but today one of the girls mentioned that her birthday is tomorrow, so now the cat's out of the bag about all the birthdays. Which better mean some tequila shots are in our future. 
  

All in all, a good beginning. Our meetings start tomorrow, and I can tell it's going to be a really long week but hopefully I'll get a few blogs out of it...

 

did I call that or what?

So as I anticipated, my Mom lost her shit when I told her about the Mexico trip. It started with the dramatic "OH MY GOD" and went downhill from there. After 5 minutes I accidentally started laughing because, although the paranoia behind her statements was very sobering, the one-liners she was delivering were amazing. After 10 minutes, I opened a Word document and started typing. To prove to you that I wasn't kidding when I defined the dying swan act that would ensue, I've categorized her commentary based on the categories that I put in the anticipatory blog.

Because you can't write stuff this good:

1) Reference to a number of stereotypes and hyperboles. Think us/them dichotomies. 

"It’s Dodge City without gunslingers and dance hall girls—you've got prostitutes, cartels, and thugs."

"You can’t even trust the people at the resorts not to come steal your shit."

"Don’t drink the water. If you don’t hear the cap go PSSH when you open it, someone’s already fucked with it."

"The streets aren’t going to be marked – you’re going to be like 'I’m at the corner of Colostomy and Rectum, outside Hotel Terminado' where when the people in the room above you flush their toilet and shit comes out your sink."

2) An assumption that I can't defend myself for shit. 

"Don’t wear anything nice, go to the Salvation Army before you go and buy your clothes there. I’m talking hobo. Don’t even take a nice purse. Take something you fully expect to have ripped off your shoulder."

"You need to plan an escape route, how are you going to get home if something horrible happens?"

"You make sure it’s you and 2 huge ape-sized men when you take a cab—or 2 women that are smaller than you so you can run like hell. You just have to faster than 1 woman."

3) An assumption that I will run from the group at the first chance I have, and then will be kidnapped and die.

"So basically you’re telling me you won’t here for your birthday because you’ll be in Mexico hiding from kidnappers."

"Oh my God, you might also give me power of attorney in case I need to send ransom money."

"I don’t want it to be called St. Laurie’s because I own it at the expense of my dead daughter."

"I don’t think any of those school releases are gonna hold up if something happens to you down there. They’ll try to blame you, but I’ll know."

"Oh my god, I need a copy of your passport. You'll probably be held captive by some swarthy, mustache-ed cartel member who decided he wanted a blonde wife."

"Mother knows Laura Bush, who doesn’t have a lot of clout but might know some people in the government who know a recovery specialist."

4) A last-ditch effort, usually correlating Mexico to imminent death. My mother's imminent death.

"I suggest you watch the movie Breakout before you go. Seriously, I’m serious. I’m very serious."

"Now I’m going to go in and get my blood pressure dosage upped."

"Maybe I can find a doctor to give me Deprovan so I can sleep through it for 6 days."

I do think she has a real fear of the unknown, and it doesn't help that a bunch of kids were just killed in Juarez, but I think most of her hemming and hawing is for dramatic effect. I mean come on, the woman writes novels! Incidentally, when I first called her and asked her what she was doing, she said "writing stories about Mexico." 

Which then she brought full circle when the light bulb went off and she said, "Oh my God, this is life imitating art." My mother, the xenophobic philosopher.

shitImadeup.com

So yesterday I woke up with a sinus-y head and by the afternoon, had developed a swollen lymph node in my neck. For my body, that usually means all hell is about to break loose. So I did the only thing I knew to do: gave it a little (painful) lymph node massage! I started trying to remember where I originally heard that this was a good idea, and 3 WebMD searches later, had found nothing corroborating my "strategy." I ventured out into the oh-so-reliable world wide web and found a couple of totally conflicting takes on this lymph node massage business. 

Both "sides" (i.e. crazy people with no medical degree) agree that lymph node massage is a technique that helps increase circulation in the lymph nodes when they become swollen. The circulation then helps them drain, which is their natural function. They usually swell when your body becomes infected and they try to trap bacteria in the nodes, while producing white blood cells to kill the bacteria. Or something.

So the debate is:

A - massaging the lymph nodes is a good thing, because it helps release all those white blood cells into your system to go fight all that grossness.

OR

B - by doing that, you're also releasing all the bacteria that's been trapped into your system, which means you're actually instigating the sickness. 

OR 

C - why the hell are you doing that at all. 

For the time being, my lymph node is un-swollen and I didn't wake up feeling any worse today than I did yesterday, so who knows. But if anyone has heard one way or the other, tell me! I don't want to sit here releasing toxins into my body (not to mention how painful it is to rub something that's already sore) if it's not for the better! Has anyone heard anything about this...ever? Katie, nurse-friend, anything?