what's your sign?

The only horoscope I've read in the past four years was out of The Onion, and it told me the good news was, I was going to have the best day of my life tomorrow! The bad news was, I'd be hit by a car the next day. I hadn't even so much thought about my sign until a "family dinner" the other night when Jenilee proclaimed that obviously she's moody, I mean, she IS a Cancer, which spiraled into a detailed dissection of all of our personalities and sent me running for the Internet to figure out who I really was.

Thanks to astrology.com, I found out I am a huge pansy. I'm sensitive and dreamy and emotional and I sound seriously annoying. I hate illiteracy, and I'm probably short with pouty lips. (I joined forces with Wikipedia too, okay?) Which is where I also found out that Pisces have the most beautiful eyes in the Zodiac. Boo-yah! Where's the part about my voluptuous breasts?

More reputable sites suggest that I'm a good confidant, a solid caretaker, and I want to love and be loved. Sometimes I feel isolated and disconnected. Now we're onto something. I have a strong intuition and use that to solve problems, although I hate making big decisions. Tough times will be great sources of wisdom for me. Damn well better be. 26 is going to be a year of important change. Gah, not more than 25 please! There's a good chance I'll be a writer, and I'm usually very loyal. I can't cook for shit. (I couldn't find that exact phrase but it had to be in there somewhere).

So aside from the whole pouty-lipped dreamer thing, I feel like a lot of this stuff was pretty dead on, which kind of blew my mind. Does anyone else buy into this whole zodiac thing, or am I taking a turn down Crazy Road?